Curse you, transition issues, you are the bane of my comic book reviewing existence! Writer Brian Michael Bendis delivers another stellar chapter in Miles Morales’ current superhero woes, but it’s the sort of chapter that takes us from Point A to Point B instead of delivering any really great story moments of its own! And those it does deliver are obvious cliffhangers! It’s so frustrating, but only because the comic is still oh so good!

Ultimate Spider-Man #5

Ultimate Spider-Man #5 is a perfect example of why some comics should be read in the trade! I don’t know if I can wait for the next issue! Exclamation!

Comic Rating: 8/10 – Very Good.

But I’m going to have to wait. I’m a big boy, I can suck it up and deal. Bendis and superstar artist David Marquez are at the top of their game here, telling a tightly packed, vivid story. I would probably even go out on a limb and say their Spider-Man comic is better than the regular Spider-Man comic. Ultimate Spider-Man is just so much more involved, so much more epic. Dan Slott might be dealing with classic Peter Parker and his big supporting cast, but Bendis is telling such a grounded, long-lasting saga here. These characters all have history, they have agency, and that just makes for a stronger story.

I only wish I wasn’t reading it one issue at a time, but that’s no one’s fault or choice but my own.

Join me after the jump for a full synopsis and more review!

We open where we left off last issue, with Miles and Peter, hands in the air, about to be arrested. The lead cop tells them to take off their masks and lie down on the ground, but Peter and Miles have other ideas.

BFFs already!

The two Spider-Men make a break for it, but Miles gets shot in the leg by an over-eager police officer. It’s only a graze, though, and Miles turns invisible and slinks off into a nearby yard. The pain is too much to stay invisible for long, so he’s stuck hiding against the side of a house, bleeding, and only a few feet from being discovered. Fortunately, Maria Hill followed him, and she pulls up in her car, offering him a ride. Miles is hesitant to accept, but Hill points out that she’s known his secret identity for more than a year and hasn’t done anything about it. Miles gets in the car.

Adults, pffft. What do they know?

They find a quiet place to pull over so Hill can dig out her first aid kit and start patching him up. Miles calls Ganke to let his buddy know he’s OK, then Hill asks Miles to fill her in on the whole story. Miles is hesitant, but Hill explains that when she was still a beat cop, the first Spider-Man saved her life. She owes him and wants to help, so Miles comes clean.

When he’s finished, Hill gives Miles a hoodie to wear over his costume, then she takes him to visit Mary Jane’s house for information. When Miles knocks on the door, Peter appears inside. Mary Jane was hiding him!

Meanwhile, those two insectoid thieves are watching the news and decide that now would be a great time for a crime spree. The cops are looking for two Spider-Men, and any crime they commit will likely be chalked up to Peter and Miles. One of the brothers is hesitant to go, but the other one is quite firm. Dissension in the ranks?

Oh look, they’re white dudes with brown hair…

Also meanwhile, J. Jonah Jameson is on the phone with a high-ranking military general, demanding answers as to why Norman Osborn is still alive. Ever the newspaper man, Jonah insists the general might as well come clean now, to him, instead of having to deal with reporters by the thousands in the morning.

But while he’s on the phone, looking out from his rich penthouse apartment, Jonah gets a surprise visitor!

What? No one-liner?

Osborn arrives and powers down. He’s here for an interview, to tell his story to J. Jonah Jameson. The publisher gets Norman a robe and grabs a recorder, then starts questioning Osborn as to where he’s been and what he wants. Osborn, of course, is super crazy, and he goes off on a rant about how neither he nor the Spider-Men seem to be able to die. He gets angrier, talking about killing the Spider-Men and everyone who wronged him.

And then Ultimate Jameson proves once again why he is the best Jameson.

This is why I got into journalism

Seriously, how cool was that?! If that was the end of Ultimate Osborn, I would be so happy! But Bendis left it as a cliffhanger, so most likely he’s fine and will instead kill Jameson. That sounds like something Bendis would do with Osborn. But man, Ultimate Jameson is just the coolest version of the character ever. He might not be a hilarious blowhard like J.K. Simmons, but Ultimate Jameson is as smooth as a blade. He’s one of Bendis’ best characters in the series. I really hope he doesn’t die, because I can’t wait to see a really good Jameson/Miles scene.

Beyond that, there’s not much to say about this issue. Peter Parker is barely in it, with the big reveal at Mary Jane’s house another cliffhanger. Miles spends some quality time with Maria Hill, but most of their conversation is off-panel. We get a glimpse into the lives of the insectoid thieves, but they remain largely boring. Bendis just needed an issue to move the story along, while delivering one of the greatest scenes Jameson has ever had in this series. I can definitely grant the man a transition issue. I just want to spoil the cliffhangers now!