Happy Labor Day weekend to all my American readers! I hope, like me, you’re going to take full advantage of this long weekend. I actually managed to do the dishes all in one go yesterday! That’s real progress. But enough about my messy apartment, what about comics? It’s another solid week of solid titles, and this is actually kind of a momentous week. Both Marvel and DC are on the verge of some pretty big craziness this fall. For September, DC is going to do another one of those special anniversaries, taking all of their comics 5 years into the future. And Marvel is about to jump the Avengers 8 months ahead.

So you better believe Avengers #34 is on the read list this week. Does Jonathan Hickman leave me salivating for what’s to come? Or what about Geoff Johns’ Superman? Is he reinventing the Man of Steel like he did the Green Lantern Corps? Read ahead to find out. We’ve also got fun new entries from Silver Surfer, Red Lanterns and, surprisingly, Batman Eternal! I wrote this series off as crap not too many weeks ago, but the team behind Batman Eternal actually deliver an exciting issue for once – even though it still doesn’t make total sense! Let’s hope the energy sticks around.

Comic Book of the Week goes to Avengers #34 to apologize for me ever doubting Hickman – though I still think Infinity was a big pile of meh.

At least one of us has

If you’re so inclined, you can also check out my review of All-New X-Men #31 over at Word of the Nerd. That was definitely a good issue.

Comic Reviews: Avengers #34, Batman Eternal #21, Harley Quinn #10, Red Lanterns #34, Silver Surfer #5 and Superman #34.

Avengers #34

Avengers #34
Writer: Jonathan Hickman
Artist: Leinil Francis Yu

The Avengers are about to explode, and I want to be there for it. Everything writer Jonathan Hickman has been building since he started working at Marvel is going to erupt in a glorious thingamabob of writing awesomeness. Which is why I picked up Avengers #34 this week, the last Avengers title before we take an 8-month jump into the future.

I just had to get back on the ground floor of this baby!

For the past few issues, Captain America and a few other Avengers have been taking a jaunt through different time periods, jumping forward across bigger and bigger gaps in time. This is all thanks to the broken Time Gem (long story). Well the journey is over, and only Captain America remains, in the far, far, far future, where the last person on Earth appears to be Kang the Conqueror, master of time travel. Three different versions of Kang from three different time periods are there to greet Cap when he arrives, and they immediately grab the Time Gem.

They explain to Captain America that the only way to save the universe from being destroyed by an incursion (see New Avengers) is to let the Illuminati continue the job of destroying other planets so that Earth may live. But Captain America don’t play that. He drops a blistering speech about how he saves lives and doesn’t weigh those lives against anything else. He just saves them. So he defeats the Kangs, grabs the Time Gem and returns to the present day. Once there, he rallies the other Avengers to take the fight to the Illuminati!

Comic Rating: 9/10 – Great.

I am kind of disappointed in myself for giving up on Hickman’s Avengers and New Avengers after Infinity, which I still don’t think was all that great. But everything he’s been doing in these two titles over the past few months has been the exact opposite. Here we have real, tense, comic book drama rooted in the personalities and actions of the heroes themselves. And that’s what I love about good comics. This isn’t about some vague, wonky evil force like the Builders threatening to destroy the universe. This is about Captain America, standing up for what he believes in, and forced to fight against his best friends, who have been standing up for what they believe in.

This issue was such an excitingly tense stand-off between Captain America and three different Kangs (regular Kang, Immortus and Iron Lad). They all had their opinions on what needed to happen to save the universe, and after explaining it to Cap, the American hero puts them in their place. It’s extra great because Hickman knows these characters so well. This isn’t just a superhero facing off against some villains. This is Captain America having it out with his old foe, Kang the Conqueror. There is real history and emotion between these characters, and it shows.

And it’s all masterfully drawn by Yu, of course. Sometimes his style might be a little too heavy on the black lines, but he captures all of the emotion and tension in place in this great issue. I almost don’t want to see the world jump ahead 8 months, because I want to see the Avengers vs. the Illuminati right now!

Batman Eternal #21

Batman Eternal #21
Writers: James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder
Artist: Jason Fabok

How would I sum up Batman Eternal so far? Discombobulated. In only 20 issues, the comic has been all over the place, with so many plots and subplots that I wish the writers were more concerned with taking their time. But Batman Eternal is not about decompression. Not at all. Tynion, Snyder and company are just shoving whatever they can into our faces, whether it fits together or not. And for the most part, I have been mildly entertained, maybe. I wouldn’t recommend this comic to anybody. Overall, I’d rate the whole thing so far as below average. It’s just wildly all over the place, goes in less interesting directions than it could, and frankly has very little Batman.

Well this new issue seems to promise a change, because it’s chock full of twists that reveal that everything we thought we knew was wrong.

Probably should have seen that coming.

For some reason, Carmine Falcone is being let out of prison. I think his lawyer did something. He mentions going back to Hong Kong for some reason or another. Whatever the reason, as he’s leaving the facility, Batman grabs him from the Batplane and pulls him up for an interrogation. Laughing in Batman’s face, Falcone reveals that everything he’s done so far has been part of some other villain’s larger scheme. Falcone was perfectly happy in Hong Kong, but then he got a literal invitation in the mail stating that Commissioner Gordon was going down on such and such a date, and that Falcone was invited to participate. This troubles Batman, and he confides in Jason Bard – who has just been appointed the new police commissioner.

Speaking of commissioners, Gordon has been found guilty at a trial we didn’t get to see, but Batman gives Bard a flash drive containing all the evidence needed to clear Gordon’s name. Bard takes that flash drive and heads to Blackgate Penitentiary with release papers…but they’re not for Gordon, they’re for Zachary Gate, the Architect (one of Scott Snyder’s new villains). Turns out, Bard is part of the bigger plan as well! He’s been hoodwinking Batman, and he destroys the flash drive. Bard is evil!

Want to know who else is in on the plan? Hush! That’s right, someone who knows Batman’s secret identity is in on the plan, and he ambushes Alfred at Wayne Manor. Hush pumps Alfred full of fear toxin, putting the butler out of commission. Though Alfred was able to get his daughter into a saferoom before Hush attacked, and now she’s more confused than ever!

Comic Rating: 7/10 – Good. 

Here’s the thing about Batman Eternal #21: the twists are pretty cool, and I did not see a lot of them coming, but I’m not entirely sure they actually fit with everything we’ve seen so far. How does anything in the previous 20 issues indicate Hush’s involvement? Or that Falcone was just a pawn and would be getting out of jail? How does the Architect fit into any of this? Why did Batman, Bard and Killer Croc spend all those issues in the sewers? What about the freakiness going on at Arkham? Professor Pyg? This series is still all over the place, but when Batman Eternal focuses on its main storyline, when it delivers some solid plot points and twists, and promises something bigger than the sum of its parts, it can be an entertaining comic. The overall series is still kind of a mess, but throw enough cool twists in my face, and I’ll at least be entertained. I only wish every issue had this level of urgency – even if parts of it still don’t make much sense together.

Harley Quinn #10

Harley Quinn #10
Writers: Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti
Artist: Marco Failla

Who could have guessed that I’d like a Harley Quinn comic so much? We’re only 10 issues in, but I’m comfortable saying this is one of DC Comics’ best series. It’s fun, it’s wacky at times, and it absolutely loves its main character. That definitely counts for something in my book. Too many comics are far too focused on side characters or subplots, as we’ll see later on down this list.

But as much fun as this series can be, all of that wackiness really brings down the issue-to-issue continuity. Harley Quinn #10 is all about Harley hanging out with her roller derby girlfriends, but there have been maybe two roller derby scenes in all of 10 issues. It’s nice that Harley has friends…but I don’t remember anything about them. Conner and Palmiotti don’t seem to care and just forge on ahead as if Harley and these girls have been attached at the hip all series. Poison Ivy has had more guest appearances than these girls.

After Harley got booted out of the professional roller derby circuit, her friends invited her to join Skate Club, an underground, no-holds-barred roller derby deathmatch. Harley is up against the Massapqequa Murderer, a giantess of a woman who mops the floor with poor Harley. So our favorite prankster pixie borrows some exploding tooth paste from her manager, Sy Borgman, and blows the Murderer into pieces – but since the match had already been called, Harley is disqualified.

Harley and the girls (who again, I barely remember) then go for a night on the town, and the rest of the issue is spent with the girls getting some food, flirting with boys and then going skinny dipping. It’s all in good fun. The issue ends when a falling star crashes to Earth right next to Harley, and when she gets a closer look, she discovers the star is actually Power Girl!

Comic Rating: 8/10 – Very Good.

Personally, I think the idea of Harley being a roller derby girl is pretty awesome. It’s a unique sport, and actually kind of perfectly fits Harley’s personality and style. So why Conner and Palmiotti have done so little with the concept is beyond me. They had Harley join the circuit in issue #1, but when she went back to it half a dozen issues later, she had one match and was immediately booted from the league. Then we get this Skate Club thing, but Harley doesn’t even do any skating. She and the Murderer just straight up fight each other, with weapons, until Harley kills the other woman (with little to no reaction from the audience). Where’s the skating? Where’s the derby? And then she gets disqualified! Is she not actually going to win any of these derby matches? Why even introduce this subplot if you’re not going to use it?

To say nothing of the girls. They all have unique looks and unique names, and it’s great that Harley has friends, but Conner and Palmiotti have done nothing to build them up into actual, viable characters. If they had been Harley’s friends all along, then a night on the town would be a very fun story. But it’s made weaker because we just don’t know these women.

Obligatory babes in bikinis talking about sharks pic

Fortunately, the issue is still very enjoyable. If you can get over those hang-ups, which I can, there’s a lot to like in Harley Quinn #10. Harley herself remains as personable as ever, and despite a few real crappy jokes and one-liners, a real sense of camaraderie and friendship courses through the issue. Harley, Sy and the girls are just fun together, and I much prefer my wackiness when it’s grounded in a reality like this one. Wacky for the sake of wacky isn’t any good. A bit of silliness when you’re hanging out with your best friends late at night is gold.

Red Lanterns #34

Red Lanterns #34
Writer: Charles Soule
Artists: Alessandro Vitti and J. Calafiore

Red Lanterns is one of those DC Comics that I kind of like, but keep dropping in and out of due to lack of general interest. It’s a fun comic, don’t get me wrong, but there has never really been anything to hold my interest. I’m not entirely sure why.

This issue is a big finale, so I thought I’d pop in and pay them a visit!

After fleeing Earth last issue, Guy Gardner prepares for his final stand against Atrocitus on Ysmault. Guy intends to go down fighting while his friends flee, but Bleez, Rankorr, Skallox, and Shadow Thief all stay and fight. The battle is pretty damn fierce! Rankorr defeats Dex-Starr! Atrocitus kills Skallox! And the Judge finally steps up to get involved, deciding that both she and all of the human RLs have been found guilty! She expands all of her power to blow herself up and knock Atrocitus’ army out of the sky.

In the end, it all comes down to Guy vs. Atrocitus and a battle over rage. To prove his superiority, Guy removes his own ring, but then his ring and all of the rings of the dead RLs seize on his rage, and at least 10 of them all fly onto his fingers. Guy transforms into the Ultimate Red Lantern and kicks Atrocitus to the curb! He has his people take Big Red and his cronies to the GLs for lockup, while Guy returns to Earth for some R&R.

Comic Rating: 8/10 Very Good.

Soule earned this payoff. He successfully and almost effortlessly resurrected the Red Lanterns series after the first writer stepped down. Soule gave these characters new life and new energy, even the characters who weren’t Guy Gardner, but especially Guy. Soule built up this conflict into something truly special, and he succeeded in rocking the main event. Last stands, epic face-offs, tragic death; this battle had it all and managed to keep anger as its primary focus. It’s an important distinction that these aren’t just red-colored Green Lanterns.

The Red Lanterns are beasts of rage, and this was one truly gnarly fight. Guy Gardner as the Ultimate Red Lantern was a sweet moment. It’s just a shame Soule sacrificed so many of the excellent supporting characters in battle. Skallox and Zox were awesome supporting characters, much cooler than any non-human Green Lantern these days. It’s sad to see them go. But at least Rankorr has come out of all of this unscathed. I just keep liking him more and more.

Silver Surfer #5

Silver Surfer #5
Writer: Dan Slott
Artists: Michael and Laura Allred

There’s no doubt about it anymore: Silver Surfer is just Dan Slott writing Doctor Who. Considering I’m a fan of all three, I am definitely OK with that interpretation. Slott’s love for both shines through with every issue, and he’s crafting some wonderfully imaginative stories.

Doctor Strange and the Hulk arrive at the Greenwood Inn to inform the Silver Surfer that he and everyone else in the world is a prisoner of the villain Nightmare, who is keeping every living soul on Earth in a deep sleep (Strange and Hulk included). The only person in the world who isn’t asleep yet, and who stands a chance at saving the day, is Dawn Greenwood! So the Surfer and Dawn team up for an adventure through the dreamscape, where they visit the greatest nightmares of not only themselves, but also Dawn’s father and sister.

The Surfer and his companion eventually find Nightmare sleeping in one of the rooms at the Inn. If they don’t wake him up soon, the entire world will be fused with the dreamscape. So the Surfer uses his board to reflect the sun directly into Nightmare’s eyes, which always wakes somebody up. Nightmare sets everything back the way it was and apologizes for the trouble he caused.

In the end, Dawn’s father and sister convince her to go into space with the Surfer.

Comic Rating: 9/10 – Great.

This was just a fun issue; pure fun, cultivated from the silliness of dreams and crafted with tender love and care. None of that chintzy store-bought stuff. The Surfer and Dawn are adorable together, with her cute straight-forwardness to his regal superiority complex. They make such a fun team. And Slott dropped enough hints in the dreamscape to fuel many ongoing storylines in the future.

The visit from Strange and the Hulk was neat, like supporting allies in any Doctor Who adventure. They provide a fun new perspective on the wacky shenanigans, while leaving the heroics up to our real stars.

Don’t ever change

There are just so many fun things to say about Slott’s Silver Surfer. Drawn with impeccable style by the Family Allred, Marvel is hopefully finally putting out a Silver Surfer comic that will stick around. Not to mention simultaneously proving that comic books can be fun too, not just grim and gritty.

Superman #34

Superman #34
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: John Romita Jr.

I almost didn’t review this issue this week. I read it, was thoroughly bored with it, and figured it wasn’t worth my time. But this is still Geoff Johns trying to resurrect Superman in the New 52. This should be a legendary comic book run. But it’s just soooo boring! And it has so little to actually do with Superman!

Still not sure why I chose to review it. Maybe I just like complaining.

Superman and Ulysses hang out at his parents’ place, where they explain what happened at their lab, and Ulysses explains where he’s been all these years. He passed into the Fourth Dimension, crash-landed on an alien planet, was raised by two adoptive alien parents, developed super-powers because of his trip through dimensions, and spent his life fighting the bad guys of that dimension. Then when one of them passed through the barrier and attacked Earth, Ulysses followed – and we know the rest of the story.

After the visit, Ulysses and Superman team up to track down whoever has been building the various robots that have been attacking Metropolis. They find a secret lab underneath the Scrap Yard, which is where all the debris from Superman’s fights is stored. The lab belongs to the Machinist, who they meet inside. Along with robots, he has developed mind control bots, and he takes control of Ulysses for a brief fight with Superman. Superman frees Ulysses, and Ulysses kills the Machinist – or at least he thinks he does. Turns out, the guy in the Machinist costume is an innocent bystander who the real Machinist was controlling remotely. Ulysses just killed an innocent man.

Comic Rating: 5/10 – Alright.

This is one of those comics where me and its fans are just going to have to agree to disagree. I wanted to give Superman #34 a lower rating, but I couldn’t bring myself to be mean. This is as professionally made a comic as they get. It’s Johns and Romita, a team that should be legendary! But they’re creating such a boring comic. First of all, it’s not even about Superman. He’s just a passive tagalong, crowded out of his own comic by Ulysses. The first issue of Johns’ run had some nice moments for Clark, but those have been abandoned in the past two issues in favor of just dumping all of Ulysses’ back story on us.

But Ulysses remains such a bland and uninteresting character. His origin is pretty much identical to Superman’s, but he lacks all of the heart and humanity. His costume is boring, his face is boring, his parents are boring, his back story is boring, his powers are boring; and if there’s a twist that he’s actually been a bad guy this whole time, that will be boring too. The only thing slightly interesting about Ulysses is the ending, where this new (boring) bad guy forces him to kill an innocent man. That’s a pretty good moral quandary…but it’s happening to Ulysses, not Superman.

I want to read a comic about Superman, not about Geoff Johns’ bland new original character. At least the art remains as legendary as its artist.

The comics I review in my Hench-Sized reviews are just the usual comics I pick up from my local shop any given week, along with a few impulse buys I might try on a whim. So if there are any comics or series you’d like me to review each week, let me know in the comments!