Brian Michael Bendis still doesn’t seem to have any idea what to do with this Divided We Fall/United We Stand storyline, so apparently he decided to just throw HYDRA at the problem. What should have been a fun issue of Miles trying to join the Ultimates instead quickly descends into a mindless, random fight scene for almost the entire issue. And not a very interesting fight scene either. It’s a dark, rainy battle against an army of identical henchmen, with art that doesn’t necessarily work in sequence.

Ultimate Spider-Man #16

That’s not to say this is a bad comic. It’s fun, well-written and full of action. It just feels like pointless filler is all, at a time when we should be getting some really exciting and fulfilling stories about young Miles Morales’ life.

Comic rating: 4/5: Good.

This is a big moment in Miles’ development as a superhero. He’s decided to volunteer for the Ultimates now that the country is falling apart. At only 13-years-old, he’s decided to step up and be a man, to accept all of the responsibility that his powers have unfairly placed on his young shoulders. And he’s doing so while keeping it all a big secret from his parents. Bendis has weaved a rather delightful web in Miles’ life. But this stupid crossover is just mucking everything up. It feels a little like Bendis’ is flailing, not sure how to handle something so momentous when his Spider-Man is only 16-issues-old.

This should be a big moment for Miles. He should be making character-defining decisions. It’s a little too soon for him to deal with something of his magnitude, but now that it’s here, Bendis should be making the most of it. He’s a skilled enough writer. And while there are hints and whispers of the potential, he doesn’t reach the finish line. Like I said, this is just a big, boring fight scene, but it could have been so much more.

Join me after the jump for a full synopsis and more view!

For those who don’t know, Divided We Fall/United We Stand is this big Ultimate Comics crossover where the United States has started to splinter as a result of a major super-villain attack. States are seceding from the Union, banding together into new countries, or basically descending into general anarchy. There’s a big map at the start of the comic to let us know that California, Washington and Oregon have formed their own nation, the Carolinas are a hot spot for anti-government militias and Wyoming is a no man’s land.

New York City and the rest of New England are under government lockdown, and for the most part, Miles’ life has been pretty undisturbed – at least until last issue, when his school was closed down. Again, something that happened far too soon in this series. We haven’t seen enough of Miles’ school for it to get shut down so soon.

Without school to keep him busy, Miles has decided to volunteer to join the Ultimates, this universe’s version of the Avengers. And last issue ended with Miles swinging out to their headquarters, the Triskelion, and basically making a fool of himself as he just dropped into a heavily fortified military base without letting anyone know that he was coming.

But before we check in with Miles on the Triskelion, the issue actually opens with his father, Jefferson Morales. Jefferson is among a group of people who are at a SHIELD roadblock in New York City. They’ve shut down the street where the Morales’ family lives, and Jefferson is livid that the soldiers won’t just let him walk the block or so to his home. So much so that he willfully just climbs over a barricade and tries to march past the soldiers. A foolish move like that gets him taken into custody, of course.

Yes, because cops have always backed off when you angrily shout things like that

Considering what we know about Miles’ dad so far, that seemed wildly out of character. He’s usually rather level-headed. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who just jumps over a police barricade in open defiance of the soldiers standing right there. Jefferson gets thrown into the back of a van and taken to a detention center.

I’d like to take this time to point out that there’s a new artist for this issue, Pepe Larraz. I wish this series had a more consistent artist, but Larraz actually does some good work here. His characters are clear and detailed, and very emotional. His art looks as good as the rest of the artists this series has seen so far, with a style so similar that you might not even be able to tell there’s a new artist. My only complaint, and I’ll point it out when we get there, is that there are some moments where I lose all recognition of what’s supposed to be happening in sequence. You’ll understand once I point it out.

We finally rejoin Miles at the Triskelion, where he’s being confronted by Captain America. Despite Cap accepting Miles only a few issues ago following a fight with the Rhino, here the Star-Spangled Hero is as angry as ever that this punk kid would just launch himself at the Triskelion like this. The nation is in dire straits, SHIELD has been pushed to the limit. They are dealing with some serious stuff, and Miles just shows up uninvited and unannounced?

“Hey listen”? Cap has turned into Navi from the Zelda games

But no sooner does Captain America tell Miles to go home than one of the mini-helicarriers crashes into the top of the Triskelion due to terrorist attack. Cap, Miles and the SHIELD soldiers are thrown wild, but they all quickly get up and start fighting back. At one point, both Cap and Miles are knocked off the roof. Miles is able to grab on to a hunk of metal, and then shoots a webline down to grab Cap. Miles’ narration is heavy in this issue as he tells himself that this is his chance to prove himself.

Then his attempts to rescue Cap are interrupted by a HYDRA agent stepping up with a gun.

So is he supposed to be the Ultimate Gorgon? Is that it?

I’m not reading any other chapters of Divided We Fall/United We Stand, so I don’t know if HYDRA is a factor in any of them. In this issue, HYDRA feels incredibly random. As if Bendis needed some kind of action to take place on the Triskelion, so he randomly chose HYDRA as a villain to attack and fight. I can understand how that might work. He just needs someone to fight for an issue, and HYDRA wouldn’t disrupt the larger context. Or maybe HYDRA really is the big bad guy in this storyline. I don’t know. All I do know is that HYDRA is as boring and faceless as a bad guy can get. It’s just a bunch of terrorists with guns to be punched, and that’s mostly all that happens for the entire rest of the issue.

We get several pages of fighting, some smashing, some rain-drenched gunfire, all that good stuff. Then we get to the scene that I just don’t think plays out exactly how Bendis pictured. This is the one I’ve been talking about..

So Captain America tells Spider-Man to stop fooling around and to help take down one of the rogue Quincarriers. Spider-Man launches into battle alongside some SHIELD soldiers, and then we immediately cut to this scene:

Where’d that rocket even come from?

It appears that Spider-Man grabs a random rocket with his webbing, rides it for a bit, hurls it off in some direction and then falls. Captain America is particularly worried that somebody needs to catch Miles, but then he saves himself.

I don’t think gravity works that way

Really? The coolest thing you’ve ever done? You threw a random rocket off course and then web-swung to safety. And looking at that picture, I’m not even sure if that’s how web swinging works. It’s a very odd angle. This is just a very odd sequence of events. The rocket comes out of nowhere, Miles takes care of it, there’s some vague sense of worry from Cap that Miles is in trouble, but then he’s just fine – and considers it the coolest thing he’s ever done. It’s just a wonky scene, in my opinion.

Anyway, so Captain America fights that lead HYDRA agent, and Miles lends a hand to take him down. SHIELD wins the day, and when the fighting is all over, Captain America tells Miles that he has the right stuff to be a hero, and that Cap will gladly let him join the Ultimates. Thor, Iron Man and Spider-Woman show up, and Cap tells them that Miles defeated all the bad guys. Which is a little overstating what actually happened. Miles did his part, sure, but he didn’t take down everybody.

Miles asks for a phone, and we get a nice little moment where he steps to the side to call his mom.

The phone is one of Iron Man’s gloves

It’s a good moment in the comic, reminding us that Miles is just a kid, doing all of this insane stuff while he still has parents at home. He lies to her and tells her that he’s going to his friend’s house, and she mentions that she can’t get ahold of his father. I think it would have been a little more impactful if we’d seen a panel or two of Miles’ is mom, but it’s a good scene nonetheless.

It’s not often that you actually see a protagonist dealing with their parents. Most are orphans, like Harry Potter or Batman. Granted, Miles’ parents don’t know that he’s really Spider-Man, so it’s similar to Peter Parker and Aunt May. I’d like to see Miles’ parents find out. That’ll make for a cool story.

Anyway, when Miles finishes his call home, Iron Man fetches him to come witness Captain America accept his election as President of the United States of America. Because that’s a thing that happened in Divided We Fall/United We Stand.

Like I said, it’s still an entertaining issue. The art is fantastic, as is the norm for this series, and the action is at least very actiony. The villains leave a lot to be desired, frankly, because it’s just not very exciting to watch superheroes fight nameless, pointless henchmen. There are no stakes, especially if HYDRA has nothing to do with the bigger picture. And Miles doesn’t really have anything to do with Captain America as President. At least not yet he doesn’t. Miles seems wasted in this crossover.

Really, the only thing this bigger crossover can accomplish for this series is showing Miles in a new light. How does this kid deal with something this huge? He’s only been Spider-Man for a short time. How does it impact his family? His life? His friends? His career as a superhero? Part of me doesn’t think Bendis is exploring this as deeply as he could, possibly because he’d never intended on Miles having to face something so huge so early in his series. Miles continues to skirt by big problems fairly easily. HYDRA barely puts up much of a fight, with Miles kicking as much ass as humanly possible, and then getting a big thumbs up from Captain America. Basically, what I’m saying is that Miles never seems to have to struggle with being a superhero. It all comes easy to him, even in a big fight like this one against seemingly insurmountable odds.

Far be it for me to wish harm on a little kid, but Miles Morales needs to be put through the ringer.