6 Unsung Patriotic Superheroes
Everybody knows about Captain America. He’s a living legend! Plus he had that big, fancy movie earlier this Summer. But you don’t come here to Henchman-4-Hire to read what you already know. You’re here for greater depth in your comic book knowledge. So in honor of Labor Day, I decided to write up a quick list of 6 America-themed superheroes that you probably never heard of.
Some successful. Some not.
6. Uncle Sam:
Kicking ass for America!
Yes, the actual and literal Uncle Sam come to life. Starring in DC Comics alongside Superman and Wonder Woman, Uncle Sam was even a supporting character in the Justice League. He’s got a whole host of general super-powers, like super strength, speed, agility and the ability to just plain kick ass. His origin is that the Founding Fathers performed an occult ritual to give the ‘Spirit of America’ a physical form. He served as various guises over the years until finally emerging as Uncle Sam in the late 1800s. Nowadays he’s the leader of the Freedom Fighters, a badass team of super spies and secret agent superheroes working for the U.S. Government.
5. Iron Patriot:
Evil in the name of America!
You’re right, that does look like a cross between Iron Man and Captain America. That’s the point. In reality, it’s the Iron Patriot, the ‘heroic’ guise of Norman Osborn! Remember him from the Spider-Man movie? He was the villainous Green Goblin. Norman Osborn is a crazy man, but he’s also a businessman. And in that capacity, Osborn stayed sane long enough for certain government people to start trusting him. Then he was put in charge of the Thunderbolts, a government team of super-villains being used as heroes.
When he helped repel an alien invasion, Norman was seen as such a hero that the American government put him in charge of H.A.M.M.E.R., a new version of S.H.I.E.L.D. He was America’s top cop, and as such, he formed his own team of Avengers, all of whom were secretly villains posing as heroes. Norman took on the identity of the Iron Patriot, repainting some of Iron Man’s old armors. Stark was on the outs with the government at the time, viewed as a bad guy. For a few months, Norman led the ‘Dark’ Avengers on a few heroic missions. They actually helped people, despite being super-villains in disguise.
In the end, though, Norman bit off more than he could chew by leading his Dark Avengers against Thor and Asgard. He was revealed to be the psycho that he was, and got locked up. Though there are hints that he’s soon to be free and troubling the heroes once again.
4. The Spirit of ’76:
Old timey and fun, I suppose
Now that’s an exciting superhero name! He was created in the 70s as a patriotic hero for Marvel Comics, and his history is that William Naslund wanted to do more for the war effort in World War II. So taking Captain America as an inspiration, Naslund became really athletic and created this costumed identity. He served as a member of The Crusaders alongside a bunch of other random heroes. So basically a poor man’s Captain America serving at around the same time.
When Cap was frozen in the Atlantic (like at the end of his movie), the U.S. Government recruited Naslund to replace him. They gave him a costume and a shield, and Naslund was Cap for a few years before being killed by a robot. Comcis, everybody!
3. Mister America:
Possibly the lamest superhero costume ever
There’s a whole line of superheroes in the DC Universe who go by the name of Mister America. The first one, Tex Thompson, actually debuted in Action Comics #1 in 1938, the same comic that was the first appearance of Superman! As the costume implies, he’s just a dude in some patriotic-colored clothes who has a whip that fights crime. Thompson went on to become the Americommando during World War II.
That picture is from the modern day Mr. America in the pages of Justice Society of America. Similar to the Justice League, the Justice Society is made up of heroes that debuted before Superman and Batman in the comics timeline. It’s a little bit complicated, but essentially the heroes in the Justice Society are all old men in their 50s and 60s, whereas Superman, Batman and their generation are all in their 20s or 30s. In Justice Society, these old heroes are training and working with the next generation of heroes, composed of descendants of old heroes.
Thompson’s descendant debuted in the first issue of a recent JSA relaunch, only to die in that same issue. Dumbass. Then his FBI partner Jeffrey Graves took up the costume and whip and has had a much more successful superhero career.
2. Isiah Bradley and Patriot:
The black Captain America
Did you know there was a black Captain America? In a somewhat controversial comic released a few years ago called Truth: Red, White and Black, it was revealed that after Steve Rogers was given the super soldier serum, the U.S. Government tried to recreate it and conducted secret, often-fatal experiments on African-Americans. It treated them like lab rats. Something akin to the Tuskegee Syphilis Study.
The only survivor of the experiments was Isiah Bradley. He was taken overseas during WWII, and using a stolen Cap costume, he stormed the Nazi’s own attempts to recreate the Super Soldier Program. He successfully defeated the bad guys, but got kidnapped and brought before Hitler himself! Eventually Bradley was saved and returned stateside, only to spend nearly 20 years in federal prison on a court marshal. He eventually got pardoned in the 60s and spent the rest of his life at home, since the experiments had failed to recreate the true Super Soldier Serum and instead left Bradley with a deteriorated mind.
But throughout the years, he became a living legend as the ‘black Captain America’, but that legend only seemed to exist in the black community. He was visited by many important black icons. And eventually, Bradley had a grandson named Eli Bradley.
He's like a tiny Captain America!
Eli is the hero known as The Patriot. He’s a member of the Young Avengers. It was a surprise hit series from a few years ago. The idea was silly (kid Avengers?) but the writer hit it out of the park and the Young Avengers became a popular success! They’ve had a few series, since the writer hasn’t exactly been reliable, and they appear now and again in big Marvel stories. Eli was on a short list of young people that the Avengers were keeping track of, and the young version of Iron Man got ahold of the list and put a team together to fight Kang the Conqueror, a time traveling super-villain.
Eli led the team to victory, though it was later revealed that he didn’t have any super powers. He was actually using a recreational drug that gave people super powers. When his friends found out, they turned their backs on him until he cleaned up. Later, Eli was injured and had to get a blood transfusion from his grandfather Isiah Bradley. The super-powered blood from grandpa finally gave Eli powers for real.
1. U.S. Agent:
100% American Badass!
The man who would be Captain America! Picture the Captain America you know, now imagine him as far more conservative, badass and something of an arrogant jackass. That’s John Walker! He’s a second-rate Captain America, copying him in powers, costume and shield. But he’s stuck around for years, and has served as both an Avenger and a member of Alpha Flight. He’s a legitimate hero, not just some chump joke. Whereas Steve Rogers is more heroic, good-natured and inspirational, John Walker is just a hard-nosed, brutal ass-kicker. I’m a big fan.
Walker debuted in the 80s as a soldier who, after he was discharged, decided to get some super powers. There’s a villain out there called the Power Broker, and he gave Walker super strength, speed and agility. Powers similar to Captain America. Walker became the Super-Patriot to pay off the Power Broker, and then went around challenging Captain America while also doing good for the country. Eventually, Steve Rogers stepped down as Cap because the government wanted to turn him into something of a lapdog. Cap wasn’t about to be used, even by the U.S. Government, so he resigned. The government then scooped up Walker to be the new Captain America. Much like The Spirit of ’76 once served as a fill-in Cap. But then Rogers eventually came back, and Walker switched to being the U.S. Agent.
Eat hot patriotism, motha'fuckers!
He continued to serve the U.S. government, and eventually joined both the Avengers and the West Coast Avengers, who were based on the west coast. Yep. He made a few costume changes now and again, jumping in with different teams and organizations, but most recently he returned to his more well-known red, white and black Cap knock-off costume. He was a member of the good guy Avengers again when Norman Osborn led his assault against Thor and Asgard. During the fight, Walker got his arm and legged ripped off. Most people would retire when that happened.
But not John Walker! He just went ahead and got a robotic arm and leg and became the warden of a super-villain prison!
That's just a flesh wound!
Honorable mentions: There are a ton of random American superheroes. I chose some of the main ones from Marvel and DC comics, and that’s not a full list. There’s still Battlestar, Liberty Belle, Major Victory, S.T.R.I.P.E., American Dream, American Eagle; plus heroes from other comic companies like The Shield, Captain Flag, Yankee Girl, American Maid and many more!
The Underpants Gnomes Strike Again!
I wrote before about Superman losing his red underpants in both the new DC reboot and the movie. Basically, I’m not worried. He’ll look the same to me without the little red underpants. They may be icon for superheroes, but mostly so that people can crack easy jokes about the silliness of superheroes. I can’t stand those easy little jokes. Like, “Robin is gay”. Her da der der der!
Not funny anymore. Please be a little creative in your mocking.
Still, I thought I’d update my last post about the Superman costume. I posted some awesome Avengers pictures earlier, so this time check out this new, close-up shot of the Superman movie costume!
Is that some Kryptonite in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I’m still liking this new costume. It looks a little weird with all the odd accents and lines, but I understand what they’re going for with this. It’s like I said in the Avengers costume post from earlier today. People want realism in their superhero costumes. People want to see zippers and stuff. It lets them know that the costumes are real, that the characters are real and actually had to get dressed rather than just magically appearing in their costumes.
One of my favorite small scenes in the Lord of the Rings trilogy is when Aragorn is getting dressed in the middle of Two Towers, preparing to defend Helm’s Deep. You see him put on every layer of his outfit, from the chainmail to the green tunic we’ve seen him wearing so far. It made his outfit a real thing to me. It showed that this hero is wrapped up in armor and a carefully chosen outfit. The finished product becomes greater and more powerful because of it.
So I’m happy with weird little lines and armor bits on Superman’s costume. Anything to make it seem more real, instead of the spandex gaudiness of the original Superman movies. Not that those movies were bad, but modern audiences want something else.
Farewell, underpants.
Ninja Sex Party – Three Awesome Things, One Awesome Video
In celebration of sheer randomness on the Internet, here is a sketch comedy group called Ninja Sex Party. They have some pretty funny songs on Youtube, and here’s one I found today that’s pretty awesome.
Hypocritical Pictures
I know I said a few posts ago that I didn’t like the behind-the-scenes photos that fans take of films while they’re being filmed. That it ruined some of the magic of the movie. I stand by that decision. However, some new pics of Avengers filming arrived on the Interwebs a few days ago and they are so crystal clear and so mouth-wateringly awesome that I just have to share them and gush over them!
I’m a hypocrite, I know. In this case, I don’t mind!
First we have some of the Avengers running.
Perhaps they have somewhere really important to go
And then several full costume shots of Captain America, Black Widow and Hawkeye. I am still very much loving these costumes. Though Cap’s looks a little flustered without all the movie magic. Still, I can’t wait to see it on the big screen. I’d say it’s not as awesome as the original war-based costume from the movie. But it’s still pretty cool as an updated, modern version.
Captain America's looking a little tuckered out
I like the visible zippers. Such a thing was a joke when you could see the zippers on the old monster costumes, but for this purpose, it’s perfect. Nobody wants to see the sort of costume that Captain America wore during the musical number in his movie. People want to see realistic-style costumes, not stretched spandex. The zipper adds to the authenticity. At the same time, nobody wants Captain America to just wear black leather, like they did for the X-Men movies. It worked for that team, not for the Avengers.
That being said, both Black Widow and Hawkeye stick to the black leather look. Which works, because that’s what they wore in the comics.
Scarlett Johannson looking awesome
Here’s the thing about movie Hawkeye: he’s not dressed like traditional Avengers Hawkeye. And that’s a very, very good thing. Movie Hawkeye is dressed like Ultimate Hawkeye, and I’ll explain to you the difference. In the world of Marvel Comics, there are many alternate universes. There’s the main universe, which we’ve been reading about since the 60s. And then there are other universes featuring alternate versions of characters. Those are just side stories, for fun.
The most popular alternate universe is the Ultimate Universe. Published in 2000 onward, the Ultimate Universe is a more realistic take on superheroes. Costumes, characters, conflicts and stories are all written with an eye towards being real. Granted, in the past 11 years, that idea has kind of gone off the rails. But when the Ultimate Universe first started, things were more focused. The only way to truly understand what I mean is to read the books. And someday I’ll post a bit more.
But for now, take a look at these two different versions of Hawkeye. The one on the left is the classic Avengers Hawkeye, the one on the right is Ultimate Hawkeye. Notice the realism over the fantasy elements.
Old, classic Hawkeye on the left. New, modern Hawkeye on the right
If you’re going to make a modern day superhero movie that you want people to take seriously, which version are you going to choose? That’s right, you’d choose the modern, Ultimate option. And it looks amazing!
Though honestly, Jeremy Renner looks kind of...ordinary
Why I Started Blogging
There is a reason for this madness. I didn’t set out to bombard people’s Facebook newsfeeds with my ramblings about comic books and Star Wars. That part is just icing on the cake. I actually hope to accomplish something personal with this blog. I’m hoping that it not only makes me a better writer, but makes me an actual writer. With this blog, whether I’m chronicling my adventure in San Francisco or extolling the virtues of playing a sentient panda bear in World of Warcraft, I am first and foremost getting my ‘voice’ out there.
Hello Interwebs, it’s me, Sean.
Look at this handsome devil
Part of me has come to realize that I’m not being broad enough in scope if all I’m writing about are comic books and comic book characters. That’s fine for professional blogs, but this is my personal blog. My primary advertising tool is Facebook, and it’s worked great. A lot of random people from my Facebook friends list have read my entries and commented on them, people I wouldn’t expect. And I love finding out that people actually enjoy my writing. But to some extent, I assume a lot of these people might be more interested in me, personally, than Multiple Man.
So with this post, I want to shed a little light on the origins of my blog.
The birth of Henchman-4-Hire can be traced back to two distinct moments in 2010. At least I think that’s when it happened. Could have been 2009. Anyway, I saw an ad at www.avclub.com that they were hiring. If you’ve never been to the AV Club, it’s a pop culture site that reports on movies, music, TV, comics and everything I’m interested in. They sometimes do it with a bit of sarcastic humor, which I love even more. The AV Club is one of my favorite sites to just surf on the Internet. So the possibility of working for them sounded like a dream come true.
Right now, I’m a newspaper reporter for a small daily newspaper in Central New York. Someday I’ll write a blog entry about how I got started in journalism, but suffice to say, I wanted a day job that involved writing. And once I started interning at newspapers, I found out that I loved reporting. I’m one of those few happy people in the world that loves their job. I wish it paid a bit more, but I digress. I’ve been at the newspaper for more than 5 years now, and I do hope to move on someday to a bigger, better job. The safe route would be to stick with newspaper reporting.
But wouldn’t it be amazing if I could get a dream job online where they pay me to write about movies and TV shows and comics and video games and everything I love? These sites and these paying jobs do exist!
Living the dream
So I updated my resume, wrote a cover letter and put together a few of my finest newspaper clips to e-mail to the AV Club. I read up online about how people go about applying for a job these days, because my job-hunting techniques were 5 years out of date. I shipped everything off and entertained myself with dreams of the big time. A job at the AV Club would be unbelievable.
And I never heard anything back.
Not so depressing. I sort of figured it was a long shot. But at least I tried, right?
Sometime later, I was surfing another one of my favorite geek sites, www.ign.com. I found a blog post on that site from one of their head honchos, a guy in charge of reviewing applications whenever they have a job opening. Much like the AV Club, IGN is a site that reports on geek news, and reviews everything from new movies to hot video games. So again, the perfect sort of place where I’d like to work. Since IGN is so popular online, the honcho was writing about how he gets tons of applications, but he ends up throwing half of them away because the people applying seem to be stuck in the Paper Age. The honcho wrote that faxing an employer the traditional cover letter and resume was an act of dinosaurs.
Also an act of dinosaurs
The modern world is the Internet, and when you send someone your work, that someone expects to be able to see all of it with the click of a link. Resumes are no longer faxed, they’re e-mailed. And the body of the e-mail has become the new cover letter. The honcho said that he expects to have instant access to your Facebook page, Twitter feed, Linkedin account and everything else modern Internet citizens should have. Don’t fax him a handful of xeroxed newspaper clippings and tell him that ‘contacts are available on request’. E-mail him a database of all your stories from the newspaper website, and toss in your contacts’ e-mail addresses. The Internet these days is lightning fast, so a person’s resume and job application should be just as fast.
This was a revelation to me!
The dinosaur-way was exactly how I’d applied to the AV Club. So of course I never heard back from them! They probably had a good chuckle at my quaint little cover letter and threw it away. Like I said, I hadn’t been worried about job-hunting since I graduated college. The Internet was around back then, but the rise of social media changed everything! Understatement of the year, right? Anyway, I realized that I had to step up my game. If I wanted to get hired at a place like the AV Club or IGN – and I really do – I’d have to start making ‘Sean Mills’ an Internet brand.
I’d seen it happen before. I surf a lot of websites in my free time, sites I visit daily for their new and fun content. Two favorites of mine are www.weeklycrisis.com for comic book stuff, and www.11points.com for humorous/informative lists. Both were started and are written by a single guy, though Weekly Crisis has a few writers now. Well after getting semi-popular, the blogger behind Weekly Crisis got hired to write comic book reviews by one website, and the blogger behind 11points got a book deal with a real publisher! I want both those things!
So the way was clear.
If I wanted a future writing about the things I love for a living, I needed to make my presence known on the Internet. I needed to get my ‘voice’ out there, let people know what I think, what I feel. Give the people something to read by Sean Mills!
I’d been kicking around the idea of a web comic for awhile. I used to write and draw a comic strip for my college newspaper called Falmouth University. And it always delighted me when I’d bump into someone on campus who read it and loved it. Personally, I never thought I was all that funny. But I loved doing it. So now in the present, I thought perhaps I’d start a web comic. I have a lot of ideas. The problem is that I can’t draw for shit. I’m a writer, not an artist. Some of my ideas included Roosevelt and Sasquatch, the story of President Teddy Roosevelt and his sidekick Bigfoot, whom he calls ‘Bear’ because he’s convinced that Bigfoot is just a big, smart bear. Another idea was Gary the Gray Power Ranger. While the more colorful Power Rangers are out saving the city from monsters, Gary was stuck back at base as the janitor.
My idea was not based on this picture. This is just what you get when you Google 'Roosevelt and Sasquatch'. And it is awesome!
I had plenty of ideas, just no artistic talent. My web comics never got off the ground.
So I decided to settle for what I could do: write. I’m a born writer and storyteller, this I know. Some people are good at sports, some people are mathematical minds; I write. I have story ideas. I’m constantly thinking in my head about this or that, whether it’s a new idea for a novel or my thoughts on why all three Matrix movies are actually good. But until this blog, those ideas were stuck in my head. I never had anywhere to put them. Now with this blog, I can write about whatever I want. Whatever geeky ideas I possess, I can write them down both for posterity and just for my own enjoyment.
And all the while people are reading. I’m not getting paid. I’m not paying anyone. That’s the greatness of the Internet. All I have to do is write and slowly but surely, Sean Mills will emerge.
It's a blog within a blog
I hope you enjoyed this little story. I’m trying to get more followers in the realms of social media. So if you liked this entry and want to read me, please click on the colorful links at the top right-hand corner of this page to follow me on Twitter or like my Facebook fan page. You can even subscribe to this blog via e-mail or RSS feed.
