Henchman-4-Hire’s New Year’s Resolutions
Hi everybody! Sean here, your Henchman-4-Hire! I’ve been having a blast writing this blog, and I’d like to think I’ve gathered a small group of friends and fans. Or maybe just people who accidentally set their homepage to my blog and don’t know how to fix it. All are welcome. I know I’m one of a jillion pop culture blogs on the Internet, but it’s still fun writing about topics that interest me like comics, video games and all that geeky stuff.
And Arkham City. That article on The 6 Best Easter Eggs of Batman: Arkham City was a gift that keeps on giving!
Clearly Batman is looking out for me.
Somebody's got to do it
So for my first post of the New Year, I thought I’d let you all in on some ideas and projects that I hope to start in the new year. Some site resolutions, if you will. First of all though, I was hoping to get some feedback from my readers. What do you guys and gals like about my blog? What do you hate? How are my reviews? Do you like the long form with full synopsis? Should I shorten them up? Am I just a blithering idiot in general?
Let me know in the comments so I can make some changes and improvements.
Here are my Henchman-4-Hire New Year’s Resolutions:
1. Get a New Logo: I don’t own the grinning guy in the green and yellow at the top of my blog, the one I’m sort of using as a logo. That’s a Marvel Comics character, named Bob: Agent of Hydra. It just so happens that he’s a henchman and that picture just looks perfect for the tone and scope of my blog. So I’m using it under the Fair Use rules of coypright law. I’m not making any money off the image or this blog. So I’m safe, I think.
Come at me, bro!
Hopefully sometime this year I’ll be able to work with an artist or anyone really to design my own original Henchman-4-Hire character to use in place of Bob. I have some ideas, but I’m a terrible artist. If any of my readers would like to help me out in designing a new character and a new logo, contact me via e-mail. Or if you know someone who can do that sort of thing. Please get in touch with me. This site needs its own unique look!
2. Henchman Spotlight: This was a project I’ve wanted to do since the very beginning, a sort of detailed look at specific Henchmen from pop culture. It would include a biography, trivia, appearances, and other just fun stuff about each character. Sort of like the list of the 6 Greatest Henchmen of All Time, but more specific. I’d planned on doing it as a Henchman-of-the-Month, but that’s probably not going to happen. And I have no one to blame but procrastination. So hopefully soon I’ll put up the first one of these.
First up: Bebop and Rocksteady!
3. Guide to Henching: Another Henchman-related project. If you follow me on Twitter or have liked my Facebook page, then you’ve already seen me starting to roll out this idea. I’ve been writing up little Henchmen rules/trivia. It’s just a little game for now, but I hope to get a little more elaborate. Maybe write some ‘Official Rules of Henching’ or something. Like a guide book. Maybe even write enough to attract a publisher and get it published something. So those little factoids will continue, but on my blog itself I hope to write something more in depth and grand.
4. The Robin Manifesto: Frequent readers of my blog will know that I absolutely love Robin, The Boy Wonder. He’s one of my all-time favorite comic book characters. Unfortunately, he’s also the most maligned mainstream comic book character in the world! Everybody hates Robin! Nobody wants to see him in the movies. They mock him, they scoff at him. The guy gets no respect, I’m tellin’ ya.
Well that’s going to change. I have a lot of article ideas in mind to tell the world about the awesomeness of Robin. I’m going to make it a project, with new articles published as often as I can write them. Why do I think Robin is so cool. Why would Robin be a perfect fit in the Christopher Nolan movies. Why does Batman not understand the importance of Robin. Why do some Robins succeed and some Robins fail. Those are just a couple of ideas. Maybe then I’ll be able to make the world understand!
Cooler than anybody gives him credit for
5. Stop Drinking Soda: This is actually my personal New Year’s Resolution. Usually my resolution is to lose weight, but that’s never worked. This one might be a little easier to accomplish. Plus it will lead into losing weight. So wish me luck!
Review: Teen Titans #4
While showing a definite and more grounded improvement over the last issue, Teen Titans #4 still feels off when it comes to teen dialogue and interaction. A lot happens in this issue – from the team getting together and getting a name, to finally confronting Superboy – but it’s not all gelling as well as I’d like. Or ‘gellin’ like Magellan’ if that’s how you roll. At any rate, I can definitely appreciate what writer Scott Lobdell does in this issue because I definitely want to see a lot more of these teens just hanging out and getting to know one another. But I can’t really put my finger on why that doesn’t quite work.
Teen Titans #4
Maybe it’s because everything feels so rushed and kind of sloppy.
Comic rating: 3/5: Alright.
Or maybe everything just feels forced. The same issues that have plagued this series continue here, but the specific actions and story points make up for that flakiness. N.O.W.H.E.R.E. continues to be a silly concept. The setting always seems very erratic. And this group of characters has yet to fully blend together, or feel anything other than forced together. I don’t think Lobdell found a very organic way to bring the team together. I don’t know if he came up with the members of the team, or if they were decided in some New 52 committee, but it’s like he had a list of characters he had to bring together and he just checked them off the list to ensure they were together by issue #4.
I just don’t get the feeling that this team is the team that belongs together, that this will be the Teen Titans of the new generation. But there’s still time to change my mind. The art, at least, remains phenomenal. Brett Booth is drawing beautiful, distinctive characters with great facial expressions and energetic movements. So at least good.
Spoilers after the jump.
Who Buys This Shit?
The world is full of a lot of stupid shit. And a lot of it you can buy. Take, for example, some of the recent offerings unveiled for merchandise that ties into the upcoming The Avengers movie next year. The website Comic Book Movies posted several of the images today, and I just have to roll my eyes at how insipid some of these items are. You can check them all out at the link I just posted, but I have a couple of my least favorites.
Who in their right mind would buy some of this garbage? It has nothing to do at all with the Avengers movie other than to slap the logo on a product, along with some highly detailed character images, and then just throw it in stores.
It’s like that scene in Death to Smoochy where the executives sit around a big table making check marks next to all the pointless drivel that will now that Smoochy’s face stamped onto it. Or all the jokes in Spaceballs. So much for either movie being some kind of satire.
I mean, c’mon, look at this shit:
Who in their right mind would pay money for any of this crap? Who needs an ‘Avengers’ bicycle helmet? It’s just a bicycle helmet with Avengers stickered onto the side. There’s absolutely no thought or creativity in any of these items. And that just disgusts me.
But those little plushie Avengers toys were adorable!
Forgotten Characters: Ultimate Scorpion
Whatever happened to the Ultimate Scorpion?
All of the other survivors of the Ultimate Clone Saga are still around, but for some reason the Ultimate Scorpion was bottled up by Nick Fury and has never been seen again. Is writer Brian Michael Bendis holding him like an Ace up his sleeve? Considering Peter Parker is now dead, a surviving male clone might be able to fill a pretty cool role.
Clones? Peter Parker, dead? Nick Fury? What the heck am I talking about?
This guy!
Now that's one snappy dresser
Who is he?
Meet the Ultimate Scorpion, a character who last appeared with a pretty ominous cliffhanger in a very popular comic book, but has never been seen or heard from again. He’s got all of the powers of Spider-Man (I think), along with a badass scorpion tail grafted onto his spine. Too bad he’s a little crazy. Other aspects of that clone story are still around and have very prominent roles. But for some reason, Ultimate Scorpion has been completely forgotten. Why is that? I want to know! The Scorpion is one of my favorite Spider-Man villains of all time, and his Ultimate counterpart was pretty badass, with a lot of potential. So whatever happened to the guy?
First, maybe I should explain a few concepts after the jump.
This Girl Has It All Figured Out
Leave it to an adorable little girl to get to the bottom of commercialism. Named Riley, her frank and impressive rant about the difference between boys’ toys and girls’ toys is pretty freakin’ smart. I hope my eventual offspring are this intelligent. And that any daughters I have want superheroes!
