Category Archives: This Wins the Internet
Bath Salts Make Your Face Look Tasty
As regular readers might know, I work at a daily newspaper writing about crimes and criminals. And just like that face-eating guy down in Florida, we’ve had our fair share of bath salts-related incidents here in Upstate NY. There have been a few this year, but the freakiest by far was last week. This woman came out of her house choking her kid, fell down some stairs, stripped naked, ran around growling at people, choked her pit bull, fell down the stairs again and then tried to bite the cops.
Pepper spray had no effect on her, but she was able to be hand-cuffed when she was Tasered. Unfortuantely, she’d been having some heart conditions and later died of some kind of heart attack. The whole thing is still under investigation, but you can read the story I wrote about it here.
Meanwhile, speaking of people writing things about crazy bath salts, here is a rap by mc chris called ‘Tasty Face’!
Uh, hopefully this wasn’t in too poor of taste.
Happy Father’s Day Tomorrow!
Everybody loves going to the movies on Father’s Day (right?). Well the geniuses at Delstumpfzo have fulfilled all of our wishes by creating the greatest Father’s Day movie of all time! Enjoy the (fake) trailer for #1 Dad!
Jane Austen’s Fight Club
Funny, thy name is Jane Austen’s Fight Club. My girlfriend found this online the other day and it is delightfully hilarious. Please do partake in this splendid treat of Internet frivolity. Written and directed by Emily Janice Card, according to the Youtube description.
Chuck Norris: The Movie
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but the name was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives. Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits. The last digit in pi is Chuck Norris. Etc. Etc.


