Category Archives: Marvel
Comic Review: ‘X-Men: Schism’ #3
In my effort to do more comic book reviews, I’m going to throw down with another of the big Event Comics coming out of Marvel this summer: X-Men: Schism. This will be my first time visiting X-Men Schism, and sadly I’ve found it to be lacking.
It’s a fun X-Men comic, but it’s utterly failing at its two main points: splitting up Cyclops and Wolverine and introducing some new villains.
X-Men: Schism is essentially the prologue to the next big X-franchise reboot this fall. For years now, the X-Men have been hanging out and doing their thing on the West Coast. They abandoned the classic X-Mansion in Westchester and moved out to their own private island off the coast of San Francisco, then named it Utopia. The X-Men claim they’re their own sovereign nation; whatever. The point is, all the mutants are now living on Utopia with Cyclops leading the X-Men. They’ve been nice and comfortable for years, fighting baddies and doing superhero stuff.
So now it’s time to break them up, it seems.
Zappy, zappy! Slashy, slashy!
The main thrust of this story is supposed to be that some dangerous something or other has come along that’s going to drive a wedge between Cyclops and Wolverine. They’ve never really gotten along, but for decades now they’ve been respectable pals. They trust each other, fight alongside each other and can count on each other. Well the new X-franchise reboot is going to involve a split where each one takes one half of the team and forms their own X-Men. So how do we get to that position?
By issue #3 of the 5-part Schism, I’m not really sure. Absolutely nothing that’s happened so far has convinced me at all that we’re heading to a monumental split of the X-Men, or even a minor split between Cyclops and Wolverine. Writher Jason Aaron is basically feeding us a few minor squabbles so far that I guess are going to lead to the bigger split between the two. But there’s just so much history and friendship between Cyclops and Wolverine that even they seem to acknowledge that getting at each other’s throats is silly.
And this is only issue #3
The story itself is actually fairly cool, and would make a good X-Men story. With mutants gathering power on Utopia, Cyclops and Wolverine attended a world conference about peace and security in issue #1. Cyclops gave a good speech and argued a bit with some jerkly diplomats. Then an evil mutant punk crashed the party and used his telepathy to start making all the diplomats admit their darkest secrets in front of the TV cameras. It’s a minor terroristic prank from a third-rate character – but it pisses everybody off. All around the world these diplomats are calling on their countries to bring their old Sentinel robots out of storage to once again defend themselves against mutants.
That’s a good idea, and I’m enjoying that part of the story. Under Cyclops’ leadership, the X-Men step up and start taking down these idiots and their mutant-killing machines.
Then the evil mutant punk asks for asylum on Utopia, and Cyclops gives it to him FOR SOME REASON! Cyclops’ decision to protect the jerk-whistle who started this mess makes very little sense. Sure there’s the sense of protecting a fellow mutant, but since when has that been an option? Whenever the X-Men beat up evil mutants in the past, they didn’t take those guys under their wings to protect them. It’s a decision that seems forced just to cause a riff with Wolverine, since Wolvie wants to turn the punk over to the proper authorities.
I’m really getting the sense that Cyclops is supposed to be in the wrong here. Because the next little squabble comes in issue #3. One of the young student characters, Idie, is out in the city with some other X-Men when the bad guys attack (more on them later). Idie is a scared teenage girl, and she’s hiding. When she’s the last X-Man standing, she’s able to get on the radio to the others. Wolverine tells her to stay hidden and not do anything. Cyclops tells her to do what she must to save everybody in the building.
So Idie saves people!
When Cyclops and Wolverine finally make it to the scene, Wolverine is pissed that Cyclops had the girl attack and kill the bad guys. Cyclops’ exact orders were ‘You do what you feel you have to’. He didn’t order Idie to kill anybody. She decided to be a hero, be an X-Man and stepped up and saved the day. Everybody made it out of the building before the ‘bomb’ went off, thanks to Idie! But Wolverine is pissed that Cyclops would put her in that situation.
Frankly, Idie is annoying the ever-loving Hell out of me. I know very little about the character. She’s brand new and is featured in a book I don’t read. What little I do know is that she’s from some African village (I think) and was mistreated because she’s a mutant. But so far in Schism, she’s written like a 4-year-old who hates herself. So seeing her do something heroic is only a good thing. As if the teenage X-Men have never gotten their hands dirty. Hell, why’d she even have to kill those guys? Haven’t the X-Men been training her how to use her powers?
Between the evil mutant punk and Idie, the writer seems to be forcing little squabbles down our throats as to why Cyclops and Wolverine will come to blows in the last two issues of this mini-series. But I’m just not buying it. Nothing has happened so far, and there’s no indication that anything will happen, that’s monumental enough to split these two friends and then split the entire X-Men into picking one side of the other.
Especially not the villains.
The Sentinels are not the villains of Schism. Instead, the writer introduces us to Kade Kilgore, a psychotic pre-teen kid who’s taken over the Hellfire Club and is attacking the X-Men for reasons that are not yet clear. I could not be more disappointed in this one-note, implausible, ridiculously over-the-top villain. It’s like the writer said, “Okay, so get this, the bad guys is going to be…a psycho kid!” and then stopped right there.
We meet Kilgore in issue #1 when he kills his father.
And they're in a flying car for some reason...
And since that one moment, we have learned nothing new about this kid or his motivations. Why does he want to kill his father and take over his company? Why is anybody letting him do it? Why does he want to go after the X-Men? No freakin’ clue!
What’s worse is that in issue #2, he’s joined by three other psycho kids who’ve also apparently killed their parents to take over their respective companies. Nobody in the business world is stopping them. Nobody seems to question that they’re now taking orders from clearly homicidal children. It just is. And that’s hair-pullingly idiotic.
First of all, they’re not even written like kids. They’re more like short adults. All four of them (with the exception of the girl who’s playing the ‘loopey’ psychotic maniac) speak and think with complete maturity and intelligence. That completely undoes the reason for them to be kids. Now they’re only kids because it’s crazier, or something to that effect. Like, wouldn’t it be crazy if they were all psycho kids? Yes, it would be crazy, but it wouldn’t make any sense.
Second of all, these kids are super-powerful. Not personally, mind you, but they seem to be unstoppable in a ridiculous way. For some reason, they’ve taken over the Hellfire Club. The idea of a purely human Hellfire Club, one that has turned away from its former mutant masters, is a good idea. But who the hell on the Hellfire Club thinks it’s a good idea to start taking orders from these insane children? Whatever, so the Hellfire Club gives the kids a couple of goon squads and they attack the opening of the new Mutant History Museum in San Francisco.
This is the building where Idie was earlier. She’s joined by her classmates, and then the X-Men Emma Frost, Colossus, Iceman, Magneto and Namor. This is a pretty big team of heavy-hitters for the X-Men. Yet when the kids attack, they and their random Hellfire goons are able to take each of the X-Men out in essentially one hit! That’s all it takes. Hell, both Magneto and Namor each have an exact same moment where they take all the time in the world to introduce themselves, give the evil children a moment to explain the fancy gun they have and then the kids use the gun to take out Magneto and Namor. And these guns are ridiculous. The gun to take down Namor shoots out heat pads on the ground, dehydrating the undersea king. The gun that takes down Magneto shoots miniaturized neutron stars, or super magnets. WHAT!? These kids have a gun that shoots miniaturized FREAKIN’ stars?
Again, ridiculous! These kids and their weaponry are just too over the top to take seriously.
Now let me stop here for a moment and say ‘yes, this is comics’. These sorts of weapons and villains are awesome in their ridiculous nature. In the world of comic books, of course such a gun is awesome and children as bad guys are cool. But they don’t fit in this mini-series.
This is a serious, down-to-Earth, grounded tale of how Cyclops and Wolverine come to blows and how it splits the X-Men. Everything so far has been very realistic in nature. They went to a peace summit, they’re attending a museum opening. They’re questioning matters of politics. And then in come these ridiculous, over-the-top villains that just clash with the nature of the story. The children villains are so one-dimensional as to be groan-inducingly boring. We don’t even know why they’re doing all of this or why they’re specifically going after the X-Men. And they seem to be able to pull whatever sort of magic weaponry they want out of their asses with the specific purpose of defeating the X-Men in ‘one punch’.
And I haven’t even mentioned the space slugs.
X-Men: Schism has been disappointing so far because it’s failing at its two main points: splitting up Cyclops and Wolverine and introducing the new villains. Nothing these evil, one-dimensional brats have done so far would convince me that the X-Men are going to split up and go their separate ways.
But other than that, the mini-series has been good. Jason Aaron writes a strong team with great personality. The idea that the X-Men have to clean up when all the world starts digging out their old Sentinels is a cool one. And I like the idea of the X-Men doing something global like attending a peace summit.
And the art has been fantastic. There’s been a different artist for each issue so far, and they’ve all been brilliant.
Except in issue #2 when Cyclops looked anorexic…
Review: Punisher #1
A new Punisher series hit the stands this week by fantastic crime-writer Greg Rucka, and it’s an awesome comic that’s light on actual Punisher, but great on atmosphere and future potential. The art is realistic and moody, the story is rich with wickedness and the Punisher comes off as the boogeyman – which is exactly the Punisher I want.
Punisher #1
Though nothing will ever compare to the glorious 11-volume Punisher masterpiece by Garth Ennis.
Still, let’s get to the new issue. We open with a military wedding (or the reception afterwards), with a happy couple and a beautiful bride. Then some violent men with guns interrupt the party, and those men have brought death and destruction with them. The wedding erupts in gunfire, shattered glass and chaos, and soon a lot of people are dead, including the groom. The bride is just hanging on, but only by a thread. The police arrive soon after to investigate.
And it’s here that we’re introduced to probably the true protagonists of this tale: NYPD detectives Walter Bolt and Oscar Clemons. The former is the young, white rookie detective, while the latter is the aged, wise black detective who just happens to look a lot like Morgan Freeman. This is an interesting tactic for the comic, to not focus on the Punisher. Frank Castle is by no means a shy guy. Plenty of comics in the past have had the Punisher at the forefront with internal monologue and everything. Perhaps we’ll still get that as the series continues, but for now we start with Bolt and Clemons. There is no internal monologue, just dialogue.
Clemons and Bolt
The two detectives do some cursory work at the crime scene and trade a little dialogue, establishing that Clemons may be getting too old for this sort of carnage, and that Bolt may still be more than a little wet behind the ears. We learn more than enough to get a handle of the two, so they will make suitable entry characters into the world of the Punisher. Because unlike other bright and colorful superheroes, Frank Castle, the Punisher, lives in the dark, grimy streets of New York City. He’s only a man (with a lot of guns), and he deals with bodies, cops, hard-boiled detectives and violent criminals. And that’s how the Punisher should be. I don’t want the Punisher fighting Doctor Doom or super-villains. He’s first and foremost a street-level vigilante, and that’s how I enjoy him.
A little background in case you’re not familiar with the Punisher. Frank Castle was a soldier in Vietnam who saw first hand the horrors of war, while receiving more than a little military and special ops training. When he returned stateside to his wife and two kids, he was looking forward to an idyllic family life – but that was not to be. While out on a picnic one day, his family was gunned down in a shootout between two rival mobs. Castle and his family had nothing to do with the mobsters, they were just collateral damage in the shootout. But Frank survived. From then on, he has used all of his military training and connections to wage a one-man-war on crime. He’s not out for revenge against those specific mobsters, he’s out to punish any and all criminals who break the law.
He’s the ghost story that mobsters tell their children.
Like this...He's almost spectral, but still human
Moving on, Det. Clemons is ready to interview some of the survivors, but Bolt gets a suspicious text message about a drop spot. We cut to a subway terminal, where a nervous Bolt is sitting on a bench next to an envelope. We catch a glimpse of a suspiciously shadowed man in a black trenchcoat passing through the crowd, and then we get a brief glimpse of an underground bunker armed to the teeth. That envelope contained crime scene photos of the wedding. Looks like Bolt is passing information on to the Punisher.
The next scene is at a bar, where violent men who invaded the wedding are kicking back with a celebratory drink. They’re having fun in the crowded bar. Then the lights go out. Then people start dying. The men pull out their own guns, but they dare not shoot because they’ll only hit each other. They group up, but it doesn’t help. More blood. More bodies. Like a wraith, the Punisher moves through the crowd taking them out one-by-one until only the leader is left. And that’s when we get our first real look at the Punisher in this comic.
Bad. Ass.
Punisher goes to shoot the leader in the head, but he’s out of bullets. So the Punisher lets him live and walks off. Ideally he has something else in mind for this guy.
And that’s it. That’s where the story ends. It’s tragically short. We do get a back-up feature told in the style of a police interrogation/interview. It’s a flashback to how Bolt met the Punisher back when he was a vice cop making drug busts. He and his undercover partner were at the scene of a drug deal, in some sort of courtyard. There were also kids around. Something at the bust goes belly up and it becomes obvious that the bullets are about to fly. Bolt, still young, is scared out of his mind. His partner is in the middle of it, as are the kids. What’s he going to do?
Bolt doesn’t have to decide. A gloved hand grabs his mouth while the other hand pulls the fire alarm to get the kids out. Then the bullets do start flying, and the Punisher steps out. He pushes Bolt back and draws his weapon, returning fire. The Punisher obliterates these drug dealers, killing them with military-like precision. Bolt’s partner dies, but all the bad guys are dead and the kids are safe. Back at the station, Bolt gets all the credit. It’s hard to tell if he’s willingly taking it, or if everyone just believes it did it all himself because the Punisher didn’t stick around to talk to the cops. Whatever happened, Bolt makes detective and is now in the pocket of the Punisher.
It’s a nice little back story setting up Bolt and the Punisher. Plus it’s much more of an action scene than the massacre in the bar. So we actually get to see the Punisher shooting and doing a damn good job of it. The Punisher is absolutely badass in this entire comic, and that’s important. A lot of superheroes seem to require a softer side, like Spider-Man. Part of the appeal of Spidey is that he’s a regular guy with foibles and problems that he has to balance alongside his superhero life. Not Frank Castle. The Punisher is at his absolute best when he doesn’t have any reservations, doesn’t have any doubt in himself or his mission. He his cold and hard and determined 100% of the way.
When Punisher isn’t the nitty, gritty hard-boiled vigilante, it can get kind of silly.
His classic costume is ludicrous. Even without the white booties.
So consider me sold on this new series. It’s got the perfect amounts of street-level violence and epic Punisher badassery, with a couple of cool detective characters to serve as foils. Greg Rucka is a fantastic author. I know him best from the DC series Gotham Central, which was about the Gotham City Police Department trying to do their jobs in a city where the criminals are homicidal clowns and Batman is expected to solve everything. That series is brilliant, and is a fine indicator that Rucka can handle the same level of characters in the Punisher. The art is by Marco Checchetto, who I’ve never heard of before. But it’s nicely realistic while also haunting. It should be a nice fit.
And one of these days I’ll tell you about the Garth Ennis run on the Punisher. It’s one of the most brilliant and amazing comic book sagas ever written, and I have all 11 volumes on my bookshelf. Here’s a taste of the Punisher’s dialogue and his badassness.
Click to enlarge
It’s the Agent Coulson Show!
This little clip is apparently going to be on the Thor DVD as an extra. It’s SHIELD Agent Coulson having a brief chat with another agent about how they should approach General Ross about the Hulk. If you recall, in one of the final scenes of The Incredible Hulk, Ross is visited by a SHIELD representative about recruiting the Hulk for the Avengers. So the two agents discuss who they should send.
It’s a quaint little video that I thought I’d pass along. It’s also a hint at larger roles for Agent Coulson in the future!
I can’t seem to get the video to embed, so I’ll just like you to ComicBookMovie.com to watch. Enjoy!
There’s a New Spider-Man…and He Might Be Kinda Cool, Maybe
The new face behind the Ultimate Spidey mask has been revealed: Miles Morales, a half-black, half-Hispanic superhero. He’ll be taking over for Peter Parker, who was killed by the Green Goblin and the Sinister Six in the recent ‘Death of Spider-Man’ story arc. I’m willing to give Miles a chance, even though I think this entire ‘Death of Spider-Man’ idea is just stupid and should never have been done. Killing Peter Parker at this point in his Ultimate Spider-Man career reeks of a marketing stunt. Especially since the reveal that Peter would die, how he died and the identity of Miles were all spoiled in news stories in USA Today before the actual comics comes out on Wednesday.
But I suppose there is potential in injecting some new blood into the Spider-Man legacy and seeing what can be done.
Miles Morales, our new Ultimate Spider-Man
First of all, let me explain that this isn’t the ‘real’ Spider-Man. The character that debuted in the 1960s is still going strong in Amazing Spider-Man as part of the normal Marvel Universe. We’re talking about the Ultimate Marvel Universe. Back in 2000, Marvel decided to create a new line of books told with a contemporary style. They retold the origins of all their popular characters, putting them in a more modern world and focusing on character. Most of these early books were amazing, especially Ultimate Spider-Man and the Ultimates (new name for the Avengers).
The Ultimate Marvel Universe focused on characters first, superheroes second. The likes of Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers and more were treated as real people dealing with the realistic problems that come with being a superhero. Peter Parker has to juggle high school along with getting a job and a girlfriend. They were fun, adventurous stories with a strong heart. Readers cared just as much about Peter’s social life, if not more, than they did about Spider-Man fighting super-villains.
One of my all-time favorite Ultimate Spidey scenes involves Peter and his friends sitting around a campfire, when one of them suddenly discovers that she is a mutant and she freaks out and runs away. Some of the friends know that Peter is Spidey, and some don’t, and those that know want to protect his secret identity. But one of those who doesn’t know (or at least they think he doesn’t know) just stands up and says something like, ‘boy, wouldn’t it be great if there was a superhero around who could go comfort our mutant friend, wink wink’. It’s a really powerful and fun moment for all involved, and shows depths and care in crafting these characters.
Credit series creator and author for 160 issues Brian Michael Bendis. He writes very fun dialogue.
The new Spider-Man costume
Most recently, Ultimate Spider-Man has been a good a read as ever under Bendis’ pen. Peter’s social life was still the primary focus, and things were looking up since most New Yorkers supported him as a hero. Even notorious skinflint newspaperman J. Jonah Jameson had come around to support Spidey after finding out he was really Peter Parker, and having his life saved by Peter. There was even a fun subplot in which the Human Torch and Iceman, two other teenage heroes, had moved into Aunt May’s home because they had nowhere else to go. Peter had pals to hang out with!
There was even this cute new girl at school who just happened to be one of Spidey’s super-villains – but Peter was going to be nice to her at school. I really wanted to see where that story would go!
But then the people at Marvel decided that Peter Parker had to die.
When the Human Torch (of the normal Marvel Universe) was killed in a storyline earlier this year, that too was covered in USA Today and Marvel got a big bump in comic sales. I don’t have the direct quote, but some marketing guy at Marvel afterwards said they were going to kill a character every quarter because it clearly led to more publicity and sales. Such a statement is insanely stupid. But here we are and Ultimate Peter Parker is dead, and it got covered in USA Today.
Somewhere on the web, Marvel Editor Tom Brevoort explained the following:
Everybody takes a blow to the gut at some point where a story they thought was going left suddenly is going right because someone had a better take on it. But those turns don’t happen against the will of the creators involved. If Brian was absolutely dead set on not killing Ultimate Spider-Man, it wouldn’t have happened, or he wouldn’t have written it. If we were convinced that Ultimate Spider-Man must die and he didn’t want to do it, it would have been Jeph Loeb or Jonathan Hickman or Nick Spencer. But the fact that Brian wrote it should tell you that he got on board with the idea. He came to embrace it. The first moment it came up I’m sure it sent a chill down his spine, but it’s a story. He’s a storyteller sitting there, thinking about it, tossing the ideas around and seeing if it works. And he found a way it worked for him.
Basically, it wasn’t Bendis’ idea to kill Peter Parker, and if Bendis didn’t want to kill him, they’d find somebody else to write it. That’s sort of a punch to the gut for a long-standing creator. Marketing trumps creativity!
So yeah, I think killing Peter Parker was a dumb move. His stories were still very fun to read, he had a lot going on in his life and there were no signs that his end was near when the Secret Six suddenly comes around to kill him.
But this doesn’t mean I won’t give Miles Morales a try. First of all, it will still be written by Bendis. That guy is great. One thing I’ve read about this new Spider-Man is that they’re going to keep a lot of the main themes, especially ‘With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility’, they’re just going to try it out in someone else’s world. I think I can get behind that idea. Peter Parker has almost always been Spider-Man, and his supporting cast has always been the same: Aunt May, Mary Jane, Jameson, etc. The world of Spider-Man is a comfortable and familiar world.
Where is the harm in visiting another world? It sounds like they’ll be keeping a lot of the same themes of Spider-Man, but put them in a different environment with new characters and challenges. What does Miles Morales’ family think of him becoming the new Spider-Man? How did he make his costume? How did he get his powers? What does he do with them? How will Jameson and the Daily Bugle react?
I think it could be a very fun series. I’m just upset that it had to happen over Peter Parker’s dead body.
Henchman-4-Hire