Yearly Archives: 2011
Stop the Rise of the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off
Rise of the Planet of the Apes, the new prequel/reboot to the classic 60s/70s franchise, is the most superfluous movie I’ve seen this summer. There are no surprises, nothing shocking and no reason to care about the movie after the closing credits. But it’s fun while it lasts. The tale of Caesar, the first super-intelligent chimp, is an enjoyable tale as he goes from baby to revolutionary. And the CGI is fantastic. At no point do the entirely computer-generated apes look cartoony or fake.
You really root for the apes as they wage apocalyptic war against all of humanity.
He knows what you did
Quite honestly, this is the apes’ movie. There is a human story, starring James Franco, John Lithgow and hottie Freida Pinto, but that’s just so much filler that it doesn’t matter. Franco’s a scientist who’s developed a cure for Alzheimer’s, and this is the wonder drug that makes chimps smart. Caesar is the son of one of the test chimps, so he’s born with the drug in his genes. Franco raises Caesar in secret alongside his Alzheimer’s-inflicted father, who is cured by the drug.
Eventually Caesar goes through his grumpy teenage years, and one bad incident gets him taken away from Franco and locked up in a primate reserve. The pricks working at the reserve treat Caesar like shit, which prompts him to start rallying the rest of the apes to the cause of freedom. There’s also an orangutan who knows the same chimp sign language, and he and Caesar chat about stuff, like the circus and how apes are actually kind of stupid. So Caesar breaks out, steals some of Franco’s upgraded Cure 2.0 and uses it to make the reserve apes super smart as well. And Caesar becomes even smarter. So smart that he challenges the prick humans to a fight…and that’s just the beginning.
Soon he has a whole army of super smart apes and they tear San Francisco a new one.
Viva la revolution!
The Alzheimer’s cure stuff with James Franco is just a means to an end. He has a girlfriend and a boss, as well as some extraneous co-workers, but they’re only ever half-developed and uninteresting. Only Franco serves any real purpose, and that’s only as an emotional foil for Caesar. Once Caesar becomes leader of the ape resistance movement, the film keeps teasing us with the only emotional moment it has left: Franco confronting his out-of-control ‘son’. That pay-off is fun, but so open-ended as to be anti-climactic. I won’t spoil it, but suffice to say this movie doesn’t end so much as just dramatically stop.
The humans, they do nothing!
But forget all of that. The reason to see this movie is the reason they made this movie: awesome ape-tastic action. Andy Serkis, the guy who did motion-capture for both Gollum and King Kong, is back as Caesar and he does a fantastic job! As I said before, the CGI is brilliant. You can really see the intelligence in Caesar’s eyes. He can’t talk, so all of his plotting and planning is conveyed through the body language of his eyes. It’s at times adorable, and at other times it’s chilling. But you never hate or dislike Caesar. He’s the hero of this movie, and every chilling glance from his calculating eyes is exciting. The pricks at the primate reserve really are bastards, and the clever ways that Caesar plots against them are fun to watch.
When he finally does get his revenge on the pricks, it’s the most exciting moment in the film.
Then it builds to even more excitement as the super smart apes get out and go on a rampage through the streets of San Francisco. They free the other test chimps at Franco’s lab, as well as the chimps at the zoo. They build their army and basically cause a lot of mayhem. The cops and other agencies are too slow to react, so the apes get their victories. It all builds to an impressive battle on the Golden Gate Bridge. One has to ask how the apes would defeat humans that have machine guns and SWAT gear; well the apes do it with style!
But not with this much style
I never saw the original Planet of the Apes movies, so I have no idea if this film ‘fits’ with the franchise ‘continuity’. It definitely ignores Tim Burton’s 2001 reboot (which I did see). But you don’t need to know anything about those films to enjoy this one. I’d like to think that a lot of the basics about the original Planet of the Apes are well known to society, and knowing some of those details let you appreciate the various Easter Eggs thrown into this film. Though when they get around to saying the famous, ‘Get your paws off me, you dirty ape’ line, it’s a little cheesy. But the full scene with all the context is utterly fantastic.
So little bits like that add to the fun of the film.
And that’s the only real reason to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes: to have fun. It’s an enjoyable ride, and thankfully not in3D. Just don’t go in expecting any sort of masterpiece. The only thing you should expect is awesome ape action!
Ellen Page is the World’s Greatest Kid Sidekick
I just finished watching the movie Super starring Rainn Wilson and Ellen Page, and it was so mind-shockingly amazing that I just have to tell the world! As far as I can tell, this movie flew under the world’s radar with a weak April 3 opening on only 11 theaters (according to IMDB.com). It’s one of those independent films clearly riffing off of Kick-Ass, about a normal guy who dresses up as his own superhero to fight crime (among other agendas). But forget Kick-Ass, forget Defendor; Super is the new benchmark in awesomeness!
All thanks to Ellen Page as the ballsiest, most badass kid sidekick ever!
Though Rainn Wilson definitely gets some credit as the hero, Crimson Bolt. But once Boltie arrives on screen, the movie is taken to a whole new level.
She loves her costume; she made it herself
I don’t want to spoil too much of this movie because there are a lot of surprises and shocking moments that need to be seen to be believed. And I hope some of you rush right out and rent or stream this movie immediately after reading my review. You should, it’s that damn good. Like those other movies, Super treats the idea of a normal guy dressing up in a tight costume to fight crime seriously. This may be a dark comedy, if even a comedy, but the idea itself isn’t mocked or laughed at. This isn’t campy, it’s crazy. There are real questions of insanity and people off their nut in this film. Those ideas aren’t explored too deeply by the film itself, but you know that you’re not watching the boy scout Superman here. You’re watching crazy people do crazy things in the name of good.
The story is about Frank D’Arbo, played by Rainn Wilson, of The Office. He’s happily married, but his former-addict wife has started getting back into drugs and hanging out with the wrong people. Frank finds himself unable to stop it until it’s too late, and his wife Sarah, played by Liv Tyler, runs off into the arms of Jacques, played by Kevin Bacon. That guy has enjoyed a summer of playing comic book super-villains, it seems. Anyway, Frank storms after Jacques like a man in love, and we learn that Sarah may be a little too coked out to really know what she’s doing or where she even is. But Jacques has the goons and the power, so Frank can’t get near his wife.
So obviously he becomes a superhero.
The Crimson Bolt!
The idea comes to him through several different sources: visions from God, a religious TV show about a campy, Christian-themed superhero and the comic book knowledge of local comic store employee Libby (Ellen Page). Frank makes his own costume and takes it out for a test run, hiding behind dumpsters until he sees a drug deal going down. He then just straight up tackles the dealer and tries to wrestle with him, but the dealer gets up, fights back with a trash can lid and Frank runs off. He goes to Libby for help and information about superheroes without powers who use weapons. She fills him on on Batman, Green Arrow and more, and so Frank decides to start smacking people in the head with a big monkey wrench.
Wrench!
One hilarious montage later, and Crimson Bolt is all over the news for beating up drug dealers, child molesters, purse snatchers and more. The cops don’t like him, of course, but the public has started to like him. Frank tries to go after Jacques and his goons, but they have guns. They recognize him and chase him off. He needs help, so he turns to Libby, who just so happens to have figured out that the guy who came into her store asking about superheroes and weapons is the guy who is out in the street hitting people with a wrench! Libby has made her own costume and wants to help him. Frank is reluctant at first, but he eventually comes around.
And then the movie is kicked into a dark, hilariously brutal insane-o-fest the likes of which rarely grace the mainstream cinemas. If you thought the ending to Kick-Ass was awesome, then you will absolutely love the ending to Super, as Crimson Bolt and Boltie gear up to take on Jacques and his goons. It’s amazingly gory and completely hardcore, but done in that OK Tarantino sort of way. Like how Inglourious Basterds was gory and hardcore, but not grotesquely so.
Ellen Page is amazing in this film. She was fun in Juno and cool in X-Men 3, but here she takes her adorable, petite personality and turns it up to 11. And it all comes out when she becomes Boltie.
Rainn Wilson has that effect on women
It’s part of that psychological drama I mentioned earlier. At the start of the movie, Libby is a friendly, nerdy sort of girl who really likes working in the comic book store. Once her eyes are opened to the ballsiness of the Crimson Bolt, let alone becomes Boltie, her world and her mind change. It’s like how Peter Parker becomes a jabbering, funny sort of quipster when he becomes Spider-Man. Libby becomes a psycho when she’s Boltie, and it’s brilliantly played by Page. She’s the best part of the movie. Her performance has to be seen to be truly enjoyed.
Rainn Wilson is also pretty darn fantastic. He’s best known, of course, as Dwight Schrute in The Office. And he’s great as Dwight. I’d always been a little worried that actors from The Office would never not be from The Office to me. Like seeing John Krasinski in a movie role. Wouldn’t it just be Jim on screen? Well Rainn Wilson definitely sheds the overpowering persona of Dwight, becoming this new character. It definitely doesn’t feel like it’s just Dwight dressed up as the Crimson Bolt. He’s loserishly charming, and I easily found myself rooting for the Crimson Bolt. Even when it seems like he’s just a crazy guy, he’s still sympathetic enough to be worthy of support.
So the two leads hit this one out of the park. Everyone else is pretty much just window dressing. Kevin Bacon stays supremely grounded as a drug-dealing kingpin, making sure the story stays as real as possible. This isn’t a superhero movie. It’s a crime movie, but one of the characters dresses up like a superhero.
Thankfully the costumes look great. They’re obviously cheaply made spandex, but the filmmakers wisely add enough seams, zippers, pads, bells and whistles to the Crimson Bolt that he doesn’t look like a loser in spandex. And Boltie’s more clean-cut costume just looks great, because spandex works on the ladies. They don’t look any more out of place than they’re supposed to. Hollywood has definitely learned an important lesson about superhero costumes over the years.
Go see Super. Right now! Seriously. The bar has been raised.
Review: Punisher #1
A new Punisher series hit the stands this week by fantastic crime-writer Greg Rucka, and it’s an awesome comic that’s light on actual Punisher, but great on atmosphere and future potential. The art is realistic and moody, the story is rich with wickedness and the Punisher comes off as the boogeyman – which is exactly the Punisher I want.
Punisher #1
Though nothing will ever compare to the glorious 11-volume Punisher masterpiece by Garth Ennis.
Still, let’s get to the new issue. We open with a military wedding (or the reception afterwards), with a happy couple and a beautiful bride. Then some violent men with guns interrupt the party, and those men have brought death and destruction with them. The wedding erupts in gunfire, shattered glass and chaos, and soon a lot of people are dead, including the groom. The bride is just hanging on, but only by a thread. The police arrive soon after to investigate.
And it’s here that we’re introduced to probably the true protagonists of this tale: NYPD detectives Walter Bolt and Oscar Clemons. The former is the young, white rookie detective, while the latter is the aged, wise black detective who just happens to look a lot like Morgan Freeman. This is an interesting tactic for the comic, to not focus on the Punisher. Frank Castle is by no means a shy guy. Plenty of comics in the past have had the Punisher at the forefront with internal monologue and everything. Perhaps we’ll still get that as the series continues, but for now we start with Bolt and Clemons. There is no internal monologue, just dialogue.
Clemons and Bolt
The two detectives do some cursory work at the crime scene and trade a little dialogue, establishing that Clemons may be getting too old for this sort of carnage, and that Bolt may still be more than a little wet behind the ears. We learn more than enough to get a handle of the two, so they will make suitable entry characters into the world of the Punisher. Because unlike other bright and colorful superheroes, Frank Castle, the Punisher, lives in the dark, grimy streets of New York City. He’s only a man (with a lot of guns), and he deals with bodies, cops, hard-boiled detectives and violent criminals. And that’s how the Punisher should be. I don’t want the Punisher fighting Doctor Doom or super-villains. He’s first and foremost a street-level vigilante, and that’s how I enjoy him.
A little background in case you’re not familiar with the Punisher. Frank Castle was a soldier in Vietnam who saw first hand the horrors of war, while receiving more than a little military and special ops training. When he returned stateside to his wife and two kids, he was looking forward to an idyllic family life – but that was not to be. While out on a picnic one day, his family was gunned down in a shootout between two rival mobs. Castle and his family had nothing to do with the mobsters, they were just collateral damage in the shootout. But Frank survived. From then on, he has used all of his military training and connections to wage a one-man-war on crime. He’s not out for revenge against those specific mobsters, he’s out to punish any and all criminals who break the law.
He’s the ghost story that mobsters tell their children.
Like this...He's almost spectral, but still human
Moving on, Det. Clemons is ready to interview some of the survivors, but Bolt gets a suspicious text message about a drop spot. We cut to a subway terminal, where a nervous Bolt is sitting on a bench next to an envelope. We catch a glimpse of a suspiciously shadowed man in a black trenchcoat passing through the crowd, and then we get a brief glimpse of an underground bunker armed to the teeth. That envelope contained crime scene photos of the wedding. Looks like Bolt is passing information on to the Punisher.
The next scene is at a bar, where violent men who invaded the wedding are kicking back with a celebratory drink. They’re having fun in the crowded bar. Then the lights go out. Then people start dying. The men pull out their own guns, but they dare not shoot because they’ll only hit each other. They group up, but it doesn’t help. More blood. More bodies. Like a wraith, the Punisher moves through the crowd taking them out one-by-one until only the leader is left. And that’s when we get our first real look at the Punisher in this comic.
Bad. Ass.
Punisher goes to shoot the leader in the head, but he’s out of bullets. So the Punisher lets him live and walks off. Ideally he has something else in mind for this guy.
And that’s it. That’s where the story ends. It’s tragically short. We do get a back-up feature told in the style of a police interrogation/interview. It’s a flashback to how Bolt met the Punisher back when he was a vice cop making drug busts. He and his undercover partner were at the scene of a drug deal, in some sort of courtyard. There were also kids around. Something at the bust goes belly up and it becomes obvious that the bullets are about to fly. Bolt, still young, is scared out of his mind. His partner is in the middle of it, as are the kids. What’s he going to do?
Bolt doesn’t have to decide. A gloved hand grabs his mouth while the other hand pulls the fire alarm to get the kids out. Then the bullets do start flying, and the Punisher steps out. He pushes Bolt back and draws his weapon, returning fire. The Punisher obliterates these drug dealers, killing them with military-like precision. Bolt’s partner dies, but all the bad guys are dead and the kids are safe. Back at the station, Bolt gets all the credit. It’s hard to tell if he’s willingly taking it, or if everyone just believes it did it all himself because the Punisher didn’t stick around to talk to the cops. Whatever happened, Bolt makes detective and is now in the pocket of the Punisher.
It’s a nice little back story setting up Bolt and the Punisher. Plus it’s much more of an action scene than the massacre in the bar. So we actually get to see the Punisher shooting and doing a damn good job of it. The Punisher is absolutely badass in this entire comic, and that’s important. A lot of superheroes seem to require a softer side, like Spider-Man. Part of the appeal of Spidey is that he’s a regular guy with foibles and problems that he has to balance alongside his superhero life. Not Frank Castle. The Punisher is at his absolute best when he doesn’t have any reservations, doesn’t have any doubt in himself or his mission. He his cold and hard and determined 100% of the way.
When Punisher isn’t the nitty, gritty hard-boiled vigilante, it can get kind of silly.
His classic costume is ludicrous. Even without the white booties.
So consider me sold on this new series. It’s got the perfect amounts of street-level violence and epic Punisher badassery, with a couple of cool detective characters to serve as foils. Greg Rucka is a fantastic author. I know him best from the DC series Gotham Central, which was about the Gotham City Police Department trying to do their jobs in a city where the criminals are homicidal clowns and Batman is expected to solve everything. That series is brilliant, and is a fine indicator that Rucka can handle the same level of characters in the Punisher. The art is by Marco Checchetto, who I’ve never heard of before. But it’s nicely realistic while also haunting. It should be a nice fit.
And one of these days I’ll tell you about the Garth Ennis run on the Punisher. It’s one of the most brilliant and amazing comic book sagas ever written, and I have all 11 volumes on my bookshelf. Here’s a taste of the Punisher’s dialogue and his badassness.
Click to enlarge
So…it’s Superman
Warner Bros. released the first teaser image of the new Superman for their upcoming 2013 movie Man of Steel. The actor is Henry Cavill.
Smashy! Smashy!
I’m in different. Mostly because I’ve never been a big Superman fan. The picture is cool, but at this point it’s nothing more than a tease for a movie two years away. A great tease, sure, but it’s little more than a Halloween costume really. I guess it gives us an early look at the Superman costume.
And it’s really dark. Really really dark. So much for the brightness of Superman. He’s also smashing a vault of some kind. That’s an improvement over not really smashing anything in Superman Returns. But all this picture screams is ‘DARK’. Warner Bros. really wants a dark and gritty Superman movie, so I guess they’ll get one.
But I’m not exactly opposed to that. As I said, I’ve never been a big Superman fan. I like the themes and what he stands for more than the actual character. Which is too bad, since both Clark Kent and I are mild-mannered reporters. So if DC and the WB want to make a dark and gritty Superman movie, I’m not about to complain. The original Superman films were alright. I saw them for the first time only a few years ago, and they were OK. Superman Returns was terrible because it was just a love letter to those original films.
Hopefully with Man of Steel they can try something new and actually exciting with Superman. If it has to be dark and gritty, so be it.
Henchman-4-Hire 