I’m not entirely sure how this started, but Hollywood is absolutely in love with making gritty, realistic versions of fairy tales and other fantasy stories. There was that Red Riding Hood movie a few years ago, but I never saw it. I don’t think it even succeeded at the box office. I know the Alice in Wonderland movie did well, but that was relying on 3D and Johnny Depp-style, not really the gritty retelling. So what is possibly driving these movies? Did someone have an idea and now they just can’t stop the momentum?

First up, we have Snow White and the Huntsman:

So…uh…what?

Snow White re-imagined as some kind of epic war movie? Snow White was definitely wearing armor and wielding a sword at one point. And clearly the Huntsman is supposed to be some kind of action hero now. What did he do in the original fairy tale? Just wussed out on killing Snow White, right? I gotta say, that looked kinda badass. Who doesn’t love a good sword and sorcery tale? And if you can cling to a known entity like ‘Snow White’, why the hell not?

I can understand the ‘why’, I’m just not sure I understand the hopes of success. When she wasn’t in armor, Snow White seemed to do a lot of wandering around some random forest. And I’m pretty sure the love story aspect is written in stone. So…I guess grit and badassery are all its got going for it.

Because they sure as hell downplayed the Seven Dwarves! They were barely in one frame of that trailer at the 1:13 mark! That’s the real travesty.

Another new movie coming out in Neverland, a prequel to Peter Pan:

If you didn’t notice Anthony Hopkins in the trailer, he plays Smee. So I believe that means we can consider this a prequel to Hook.

Everybody loves prequels, right? They’re still very popular. The origins of Captain Hook and Peter Pan could be a nifty idea. I suppose all those hundreds of other Peter Pan stories left us wondering where Neverland and everybody came from, right? Because it’s always a good idea to reveal the secrets and mysteries of magical and mysterious things. Pulling back the curtain was the best thing that ever happened to the Wizard of Oz.

As is the case with most trailers, those two actually make the movies look good. Trailers are an art form these days, and I’m definitely falling for those two. But I just can’t help but feel that they’re not going to be very good movies. What do you all think?

Also, I’m pretty sure there are a half-dozen other Snow White and Peter Pan movies coming out alongside these two…