For anybody who eagerly reads my Teen Titans reviews, I’m apologize that this is so late. I have been dreading The Culling storyline, which is a crossover with two comics that I don’t read: Superboy and Legion Lost. I’ve been dreading The Culling because, quite honestly, Teen Titans has been a bad comic book, especially in the build up to this crossover. And I simply don’t want to have to buy Superboy or Legion Lost. Plus the rest of the Internet has been pretty negative about The Culling. So I just kept putting off actually reading the damn thing.

Teen Titans #9

Now that I’ve read it, I’m somewhat relieved to say that The Culling wasn’t so bad. Writer Scott Lobdell has finally answered pretty much all of my questions about N.O.W.H.E.R.E. and has actually provided a reasonable explanation for everything that’s happened so far.

Unfortunately, one has to sacrifice character development, personality and more than a few brain cells to  enjoy this action-oriented story.

Teen Titans #9 rating: 4/5: Good. The Culling rating: 3/5: Alright.

What can I say? While I was reading The Culling (at least the parts I bought) I was enjoying myself. The comic is almost entirely climax, with the Teen Titans finally facing off against everything N.O.W.H.E.R.E. has to offer. The big threat that has been building since Teen Titans #1 – and spent most of that time in the frustrating shadows – finally comes to a head in a big way. And the Teen Titans band together, kick some ass and save the day, while facing some bittersweet truths in the process. If I was more invested in these characters or these villains, this would definitely be a satisfying conclusion to the entire Teen Titans opening story arc.

But once you get past the action, there’s nothing left. The characters all blend together, with few, if any, unique personalities. There is no character growth or any real emotional bonding between any of them, which has been a problem with Teen Titans since the start. Despite knowing N.O.W.H.E.R.E.’s master plan, they still remain a largely stupid opponent, with far too much reach and power to fit comfortably into the DC Universe.

Though I will say that the art remains pretty good. More after the jump.

TT Annual #1

Let me first explain the backstory of The Culling and the crossover as a whole, because we finally get the answers I’ve been looking for through every single issue of Teen Titans so far. Plus for full disclosure, I need to explain which parts of The Culling I didn’t read. So the story is told in 4-parts, not counting the build-up in the various comics. The Culling started with Teen Titans Annual #1, then continued through Superboy #9, Legion Lost #9 and then finally ended with Teen Titans #9. I only read the two Teen Titans issues, so I read part 1 and part 4 of The Culling. I think it’s safe to say that I didn’t miss much in the middle two parts, and the final issue offers some stilted exposition to get me up to speed on the story.

So color me apologetic when it comes to N.O.W.H.E.R.E. I have been ranting for months in almost all of my Teen Titans reviews how N.O.W.H.E.R.E. has simply been a stupid antagonist. But that was mostly because we didn’t know anything about them! And what we did know didn’t make any sense! Frankly, parts of it still don’t make any sense. But I’ve got to admit that the entire story, and series up to this point, make at least a little more sense now that we know the whole deal.

Allow me to explain, and much of this comes from Teen Titans Annual #1. I’m not going to review that issue, but I’ll sum it up before we get to Teen Titans #9.

So basically we have this guy named Harvest. He looks pretty cool, but we don’t know his name or his origins. He claims to be a human, and that’s possible. Also, he’s either from the future, or he’s visited the future, and has gotten his hands on a lot of futuristic tech, which he has used to build N.O.W.H.E.R.E. And presumably used to put together his funky outfit.

At least he looks cool

Harvest wants to take over the world and shape it in his own image, thereby saving the world. There’s a weak point that’s made about how he thinks he’s doing good, because when he’s in charge, he’ll make the world a better place. But that’s just a cheap gimmick to try and create some depth for the character. It doesn’t work. Harvest’s plan involves taking control of the next generation of metahumans, because I guess he knows he can’t defeat the current generation, the Justice League. So this actually nicely explains why N.O.W.H.E.R.E. has only been interested in kidnapping teenage metahumans.

In order to bend these teenagers to his will, Harvest created N.O.W.H.E.R.E. and built this facility in the Antarctic to house the kidnapped teens. The top levels are all research labs, then there is the underground penal colony, and finally at the very bottom is the Crucible, which is a rocky wasteland surrounded by a river of lava. Harvest forces the teens to live for months in the penal colony, fighting over food and water, and thereby weeding out the weak from the strong. Then every few months, he pits them all in a fight to the death in the Crucible. These fights are known as ‘The Culling’, and those left standing become part of his elite and vicious fighting force, the Ravagers.

For super-villain plots, I think this one is alright. At least it explains why N.O.W.H.E.R.E. was only targetting teenagers.

Plus it adds meaning to what Red Robin has been doing all this time. He found out about this plot, at least parts of it, and decided to try and stop it. So he went out to save a few of the teens on the list, and along the way he gathered them together into the Teen Titans to try and actively fight N.O.W.H.E.R.E. Makes sense to me, at long last.

But the problems with it are not minor. This whole operation is insanely huge and evil…yet only one teenage boy in the entire world knew about it and was trying to stop it. Where the hell is the Justice League? Only Red Robin cares about this? N.O.W.H.E.R.E. just doesn’t fit in the DC Universe. How can someone read all of the other comics knowing that for months, a super-villain has been kidnapping teenage metahumans and forcing them into camps in order to fight to the death. Jeez Superman, get off your ass and do something about that!

Plus, a ton of familiar teenage heroes are introduced as part of the Culling, from Terra to Beast Boy.

Who will all be gathered in a new series call ‘The Ravagers’

Is this really how DC wants these popular characters to be introduced? If this New 52 reboot lasts for another 20 years, Beast Boy will always have to say that his origin came from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. and the Culling. As will a few dozen other teenage heroes. And this villain and this story aren’t epic enough to claim the origins of more than half the teenage generation superheroes.

And another thing, if you’ll permit me a moment to rant and spoil the story. Beast Boy is now red, instead of the classic green. And DC kills off Artemis in the first part of the storyline. They just kill her! They introduce Artemis at the beginning and kill her by the end. Setting aside the fact that there is zero emotional impact from her death, did DC forget that Artemis just happens to be a main character in their popular cartoon show Young Justice?

This is the most high profile Artemis has been in decades

I will never understand why DC doesn’t have a tighter collaboration between its animated shows and its comics. Young Justice was already going strong by the time the New 52 reboot came around. Plus there was that very popular Teen Titans cartoon show from a few years ago, which starred a green Beast Boy. So when it came time to create the lineup for the new Teen Titans comic book in the reboot, why didn’t DC use either of those shows for inspiration? And why change something as minor as Beast Boy’s color when an entire generation of young fans know that he’s green?

Green is just more fun

Both Young Justice and Teen Titans the cartoon have millions of viewers. Teen Titans the comic has thousands of readers. You do the math and figure out which one is more important.

Now all of the Artemis fans from Young Justice won’t be able to pick up a comic to read about their favorite character. Because she was needlessly killed.

Anyway, rant over. Let’s get to the actual story, shall we?

So in Teen Titans Annual, we learn that Harvest and N.O.W.H.E.R.E. have kidnapped the Teen Titans, Superboy and the members of Legion Lost, and thrown them into the penal colony, along with several dozen other young heroes like Artemis, Beast Boy, Thunder, Lightning and more. Harvest then pits the Teen Titans against the Legion for a brief fight while the two teams figure out that they’re on the same side. Then Harvest mind controls all of the other teens to fight, and pits them against the Titans and the Legion. The two teams then put aside their differences and work together to subdue, but not harm, the other teens. And Artemis is killed.

That issue ends with Harvest sending his Ravagers after the Titans and the Legion. Then based on the beginning of Teen Titans #9, we can assume a few things happened: the Titans and the Legion defeated the Ravagers, with one of the bad guys (Ridge) defecting to the good guys side. Nobody of importance was killed this time. Ridge and Caitlin Fairchild helped the other teens escape (like Beast Boy), while Harvest himself has entered the Crucible to face off against the Teen Titans and the Legion.

Boss fight!

Note everyone’s very stilted exposition. It helped me get up to speed, but man, oh man, is it really clunky.

Red Robin plans to lead the Titans in a direct attack on Harvest, leaving time for the Legion to destroy the facility and Ridge and Fairchild to get everyone else to safety. I never read Gen 13 back in the 90s, but I think this has been a fun use of Fairchild so far. There’s a brief moment where Red Robin shakes hands with Tyroc, leader of the Legion. I get what Lobdell and scripter Tom DeFalco are going for here, but since character development has been pretty nil, there’s no real impact in the handshake.

So the Titans attack, and Harvest mocks them. I’m not a fan of Harvest. He looks cool, but he’s that typical arrogant villain who is simply unbeatable. No matter what our heroes throw at him, he’s untouched. He shows no fear and simply boasts about being one step ahead of them at all times. Harvest is  a boring villain if he’s so untouchable.

At least they don’t make the henchman mistake of attacking one at a time

We take a moment to check in on the escape plan, with Bunker and Dawnstar of the Legion assisting. Fairchild, Thunder and Ridge fight some of the security forces while Bunker and Dawnstar return to their respective teams. Bunker doesn’t want to leave without Skittles, who disappeared from the penal colony at one point back in Teen Titans Annual #1. We don’t see what happens to her, but Bunker is convinced to just hope for the best and assume she got out. The other teenage metahumans escape, and we’re given a little editorial note to pick up the first issue of Ravagers, which I did not.

Meanwhile, the Titans continue to battle Harvest while Legion destroys N.O.W.H.E.R.E.’S power core, which they realize had to have come from their timeline in the 30th century. Whatever, they can deal with it in their own comic. I’m only concerned about the Teen Titans. They manage to hold their own against Harvest, but like I said, he’s pretty much untouchable, no matter the Titans’ bravado.

One line of dialogue and the conflict between Robin and Solstice is ended

Then Harvest reveals that he planned for the eventuality of superheroes disrupting his operation, in another arrogantly annoying segment. Harvest tells the Titans that they may have freed the kidnapped metahumans, but now all those teenagers are running loose after having lived in horrible, monstrous conditions the past few months. They’ve all been forged into violent, uncontrollable threats. Soon the world will be begging for N.O.W.H.E.R.E. to come and collect these dangerous teenagers.

The Titans sort of believe him, while at the same time calling his bluff that Harvest is just trying to spin this loss into a victory. I’m going to assume that Harvest is being serious, because so far he’s been written as a guy who knows every move and is untouchable.

Red Robin makes a last desperate attempt to catch Harvest. It’s another wannabe dramatic moment that would carry more weight if more work had been done to flesh out Red Robin and Harvest as characters.

Harvest has one hell of an overbite

Also, Harvest’s plan wouldn’t work if Red Robin and the Teen Titans lift a finger to help the other metahumans readjust to life in the real world. I don’t imagine DC is going to suddenly put all these rescued metahumans on the team, but Red Robin formed the Titans ostensibly to help teenage metahumans. Helping them readjust is exactly why the Titans were formed – though I’m sure they’ll stick to the core cast and general superheroics. But in theory, the Titans should be there to help in this exact situation.

At any rate, Harvest knocks Red Robin back down and escapes. Red Robin wants to keep after him, but Wonder Girl points out that this isn’t Gotham City, and not every villain has to be locked up in Arkham City for there to be a victory. They’ve destroyed the facility, the other teens have safely escaped, this is definitely a win. Red Robin agrees that it’s time to make their getaway before the whole place explodes.

Superboy and Wonder Girl lead the charge, using their powers to carry the whole team to safety. Since the exploding power core is above them, they burrow downward deeper into the Earth.

And after the whole place explodes, the team wakes up on a mysterious tropical island inside the Earth. Also it has dinosaurs.

Beware of hatches and smoke monsters

God dammit! Can’t the team have one issue to relax and just be people? It’s like DC or Lobdell think that because they are teenagers they need to be hyperactive, and not slow down for a second. I don’t want constant action from this book! I want real, fleshed out characters! Does everybody remember how the X-Men used to have a baseball issue every once and awhile, where everybody would just hang out and play baseball? Those were fun and important issues that showed that the X-Men were people first, superheroes second. The Teen Titans need a baseball issue. They need to take some time to slow down and be teenagers. All of the big action scenes and climactic super-villain battles won’t mean one lick if we don’t care about the Titans as characters.

I don’t care about a mysterious island in the middle of the Earth.

But yeah, if you ignore all of the faults, the Culling turned out to be a fairly cool action story. It’s got big fights, solid teamwork, and tense action. And for that it’s an exciting read. I wish there was a lot more depth to it, and more time was spent fleshing out the characters, but that has been a problem with Teen Titans since the beginning. I doubt it’s going to be fixed anytime soon.

Plus, finally knowing what N.O.W.H.E.R.E. was all about definitely improves the series as a whole.